Much Ado About Nothing | Act II, Scene III
Scene III
[Leonato's Garden]
Enter Benedick alone.
- BENEDICK:
-
[Enter Boy.] Boy!
- BOY:
-
Signior?
- BENEDICK:
-
In my chamber window lies a book. Bring it hither to
me in the orchard.
- BOY:
-
I am here already, my lord.(5)
- BENEDICK:
-
I know that, but I would have thee hence and here
again. [Exit Boy.] I do much wonder that one man, seeing
how much another man is a fool when he dedicates his
behaviours to love, will, after he hath laughed at such shallow
follies in others, become the argument of his own scorn(10)
by falling in love; and such a man is Claudio. I have known
when there was no music with him but the drum and the
fife; and now had he rather hear the tabor and the pipe.
I have known when he would have walked ten mile afoot to
see a good armour; and now will he lie ten nights awake(15)
carving the fashion of a new doublet. He was wont to
speak plain and to the purpose, like an honest man and a
soldier; and now is he turned orthography; his words are a
very fantastical banquet—just so many strange dishes. May
I be so converted and see with these eyes? I cannot tell; I(20)
think not. I will not be sworn but love may transform me to
an oyster; but I'll take my oath on it, till he have made an
oyster of me he shall never make me such a fool. One
woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am
well; another virtuous, yet I am well; but till all graces be(25)
in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace.
Rich she shall be, that's certain; wise, or I'll none; virtuous,
or I'll never cheapen her; fair, or I'll never look on
her; mild, or come not near me; noble, or not I for an
angel; of good discourse, an excellent musician, and her(30)
hair shall be of what colour it please God. Ha, the prince
and Monsieur Love! I will hide me in the arbour.
[Hides.]
Enter Prince [Don Pedro], Leonato, Claudio.
- DON PEDRO:
-
Come, shall we hear this music?
- CLAUDIO:
-
Yea, my good lord. How still the evening is, as
hushed on purpose to grace harmony!(35)
- DON PEDRO:
-
See you where Benedick hath hid himself?
- CLAUDIO:
-
O, very well, my lord. The music ended, We'll fit the
kid-fox with a pennyworth.
Enter Balthasar with Music.
- DON PEDRO:
-
Come, Balthasar, we'll hear that song again.
- BALTHASAR:
-
O, good my lord, tax not so bad a voice(40)
To slander music any more than once.
- DON PEDRO:
-
It is the witness still of excellency
To put a strange face on his own perfection.
I pray thee, sing, and let me woo no more.
- BALTHASAR:
-
Because you talk of wooing, I will sing;(45)
Since many a wooer doth commence his suit
To her he thinks not worthy, yet he wooes,
Yet he will swear he loves.
- DON PEDRO:
-
Nay, pray thee, come;
Or, if thou wilt hold no longer argument,(50)
Do it in notes.
- BALTHASAR:
-
Note this before my notes;
There's not a note of mine that's worth noting.
- DON PEDRO:
-
Why, these are very crotchets that he speaks;
Note, notes, forsooth, and nothing.(55)
[Air]
- BENEDICK:
-
Now, divine air! now is his soul ravished! Is it not
strange that sheeps' guts should hale souls out of men's
bodies? Well, a horn for my money, when all's done.
- BALTHASAR:
-
The Song.
Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,(60)
Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never:
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,(65)
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey nonny, nonny.
Sing no more ditties, sing no moe,
Of dumps so dull and heavey;
The fraud of men was ever so,(70)
Since summer first was leavy:
Then sigh not so,&c.
- DON PEDRO:
-
By my troth, a good song.
- BALTHASAR:
-
And an ill singer, my lord.
- DON PEDRO:
-
Ha, no, no, faith! Thou singest well enough for a(75)
shift.
- BENEDICK:
-
[Aside] An he had been a dog that should have
howled thus, they would have hanged him; and I pray God
his bad voice bode no mischief. I had as live have heard the
night raven, come what plague could have come after it.(80)
- DON PEDRO:
-
Yea, marry. Dost thou hear, Balthasar? I pray thee get
us some excellent music; for to-morrow night we would
have it at the Lady Hero's chamber window.
- BALTHASAR:
-
The best I can, my lord.
Exit Balthasar
- DON PEDRO:
-
Do so. Farewell. Come hither, Leonato. What was(85)
it you told me of to-day? that your niece Beatrice was in love
with Signior Benedick?
- CLAUDIO:
-
O, ay! [Aside to Don Pedro] Stalk on, stalk on; the
fowl sits.—I did never think that lady would have loved
any man.(90)
- LEONATO:
-
No, nor I neither; but most wonderful that she
should so dote on Signior Benedick, whom she hath in all
outward behaviours seemed ever to abhor.
- BENEDICK:
-
[Aside] Is't possible? Sits the wind in that corner?
- LEONATO:
-
By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to think of it,(95)
but that she loves him with an enraged affection. It is past
the infinite of thought.
- DON PEDRO:
-
May be she doth but counterfeit.
- CLAUDIO:
-
Faith, like enough.
- LEONATO:
-
O God, counterfeit? There was never counterfeit of
passion came so near the life of passion as she discovers(100)
it.
- DON PEDRO:
-
Why, what effects of passion shows she?
- CLAUDIO:
-
[Aside] Bait the hook well! This fish will bite.
- LEONATO:
-
What effects, my lord? She will sit you—you heard(105)
my daughter tell you how.
- CLAUDIO:
-
She did indeed.
- DON PEDRO:
-
How, how, I pray you? You amaze me. I would
have thought her spirit had been invincible against all
assaults of affection.(110)
- LEONATO:
-
I would have sworn it had, my lord—especially
against Benedick.
- BENEDICK:
-
[Aside] I should think this a gull but that the
white-bearded fellow speaks it. Knavery cannot, sure,
hide himself in such reverence.(115)
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