Scene I

[The wood]

Enter the clowns, [Quince, Snug, Bottom, Flute, Snout, and Starveling]

BOTTOM:

Are we all met?

BOTTOM:

Are we all here?

QUINCE:

Pat, pat; and here's a marvellous convenient place
for our rehearsal. This green plot shall be our stage, this
hawthorn-brake our tiring-house; and we will do it in
action, as we will do it before the Duke.(5)

QUINCE:

Ready, ready; and here's a marvelously convenient place for our
rehearsal. This green plot shall be our stage, this hawthorn
bush our dressing room, and we will do it just as we will
do it before the duke.

BOTTOM:

Peter Quince,—

BOTTOM:

Peter Quince—

QUINCE:

What sayest thou, bully Bottom?

QUINCE:

What do you say, bully Bottom?

BOTTOM:

There are things in this comedy of Pyramus and
Thisbe that will never please. First, Pyramus must draw a
sword to kill himself; which the ladies cannot abide. How(10)
answer you that?

BOTTOM:

There are things in this comedy of “Pyramus and Thisbe” that
will never please an audience. First, Pyramus must draw a sword to kill
himself, which the ladies cannot stand. What do you think about that?

SNOUT:

By'r lakin, a parlous fear.

SNOUT:

Damn, a risky business.

STARVELING:

I believe we must leave the killing out, when all
is done.

STARVELING:

I believe we must leave the killing out, when all is said and done.

BOTTOM:

Not a whit; I have a device to make all well. Write(15)
me a prologue; and let the prologue seem to say we will
do no harm with our swords, and that Pyramus is not
kill'd indeed; and for the more better assurance, tell them
that I Pyramus am not Pyramus, but Bottom the weaver.
This will put them out of fear.(20)

BOTTOM:

Not at all. I have an idea to make it all OK. Write a
prologue for me, and let the prologue seem to say we will do no harm
with our swords, and that Pyramus is not really killed, and, to reassure them even more, tell them that I am not really Pyramus but Bottom the weaver. This will keep them from being frightened.

QUINCE:

Well, we will have such a prologue; and it shall be
written in eight and six.

QUINCE:

Well, we will have such a prologue, and it shall
be written in eight lines and six lines.

BOTTOM:

No, make it two more; let it be written in eight and
eight.

BOTTOM:

No, make it two lines more. Let it be written in eight lines and eight lines.

SNOUT:

Will not the ladies be afeard of the lion?(25)

SNOUT:

Won’t the ladies be afraid of the lion?

STARVELING:

I fear it, I promise you.

STARVELING:

I’m afraid so, I promise you.

BOTTOM:

Masters, you ought to consider with yourselves to
bring in—God shield us!—a lion among ladies is a most
dreadful thing; for there is not a more fearful wild-fowl
than your lion living; and we ought to look to't.(30)

BOTTOM:

Sirs, you ought to think about this yourselves. To bring in —
God shield us! — a lion among ladies is a most dreadful thing.
There is not a more fearful wild bird than your living lion,
and we ought to look to it.

SNOUT:

Therefore another prologue must tell he is not a
lion.

SNOUT:

Well then, another prologue must say that he is not really a lion.

BOTTOM:

Nay, you must name his name, and half his face
must be seen through the lion's neck; and he himself
must speak through, saying thus, or to the same defect:(35)
—‘Ladies,’ —or ‘Fair ladies,—I would wish you’—or ‘I
would request you’ —or ‘I would entreat you,—not to
fear, not to tremble. My life for yours! If you think I
come hither as a lion, it were pity of my life. No, I am
no such thing; I am a man as other men are.’ And there,(40)
indeed, let him name his name, and tell them plainly he
is Snug the joiner.

BOTTOM:

More than that. You must tell his name and half his face must be seen
through the lion's neck, and he himself must speak through the mask
saying this, or something to the same defect,—"Ladies," or "Fair ladies, I
would wish you, or, I would request you, or, I would entreat you,
not to be afraid, not to tremble. my life for yours. If you think I
come here as a lion, shame on me. No, I am no such
thing as a lion. I am a man as other men are." —and there, indeed, let him
say his name, and tell them plainly he is Snug the joiner.

QUINCE:

Well, it shall be so. But there is two hard things;
that is, to bring the moonlight into a chamber; for, you
know, Pyramus and Thisbe meet by moonlight.(45)

QUINCE:

Well, OK. But there are two more hard things, that
is, to bring the moonlight into a chamber, because, as you know,
Pyramus and Thisbe meet by moonlight.

SNOUT:

Doth the moon shine that night we play our play?

SNOUT:

Does the moon shine that night we play our play?

BOTTOM:

A calendar, a calendar! Look in the almanack;
find out moonshine, find out moonshine.

BOTTOM:

A calendar, a calendar! look in the almanac. Find out if
there’s moonshine, find moonshine.

QUINCE:

Yes, it doth shine that night.

QUINCE:

Yes, it does shine that night.

BOTTOM:

Why, then may you leave a casement of the(50)
great chamber window, where we play, open; and the
moon may shine in at the casement.

BOTTOM:

Why, then may you leave a panel of the great chamber-window,
where we play, open; and the moon may shine in at that panel.

QUINCE:

Ay; or else one must come in with a bush of
thorns and a lantern, and say he comes to disfigure,
or to present, the person of moonshine. Then, there is(55)
another thing: we must have a wall in the great chamber;
for Pyramus and Thisbe, says the story, did talk
through the chink of a wall.

QUINCE:

Ay, or else someone must come in with a bush of thorns and a
lantern, and say he comes to imitate or to present the person
of moonshine. Then there is another thing. We must have a
wall in the great chamber, because Pyramus and Thisbe, says the
story, talked through a chink in a wall.

SNOUT:

You can never bring in a wall. What say you,
Bottom?(60)

SNOUT:

You can never bring in a wall.—What say you, Bottom?

BOTTOM:

Some man or other must present Wall; and let
him have some plaster, or some loam, or some rough-cast
about him, to signify wall; and let him hold his fingers
thus, and through that cranny shall Pyramus and
Thisbe whisper.(65)

BOTTOM:

Some man or other must look like a wall, and let him have
some plaster, or some loam, or some rough-cast cement around him to
signify the wall, and let him hold his fingers open like this, and through that
cranny, Pyramus and Thisbe will whisper.

QUINCE:

If that may be, then all is well. Come, sit down,
every mother's son, and rehearse your parts.
Pyramus, you begin; when you have spoken your speech, enter into that
brake; and so every one according to his cue.

QUINCE:

If that can be done, then I think we’ve covered everything.
Come, sit down, every mother's son, and rehearse your parts.
Pyramus, you begin.
When you have finished your speech, enter into that pack of bushes,
and so every one follow, according to his cue.

Enter Robin [Goodfellow (Puck)]

PUCK:

What hempen home-spuns have we swagg'ring here,(70)
So near the cradle of the fairy queen?
What, a play toward! I'll be an auditor;
An actor too perhaps, if I see cause.

PUCK:

What woven country-folk do we have swaggering here,
So near the cradle of the fairy queen?
What, a play! I'll listen, be
An actor too perhaps, if I see a place to jump in.

QUINCE:

Speak, Pyramus. Thisbe, stand forth.

QUINCE:

Speak, Pyramus.—Thisbe, stand forward.

BOTTOM:

Thisbe, the flowers of odious savors sweet—(75)

BOTTOM:

“Thisbe, the flowers of offensive savors sweet,”

QUINCE:

‘Odours,’ odours!

QUINCE:

Odors, odors.

BOTTOM:

—odours savors sweet;
So hath thy breath, my dearest Thisbe dear.
But hark, a voice! Stay thou but here awhile,
And by and by I will to thee appear.(80)

BOTTOM:

“—odors savors sweet.
So you have your breath, my dearest Thisbe dear.—
But wait, a voice! Wait here just a little while,
And by and by I will appear to you.”

Exit Pyramus [Bottom]

PUCK:

A stranger Pyramus than e'er play'd here!

PUCK:

A stranger Pyramus never played here!

[Exit]

FLUTE:

Must I speak now?

FLUTE:

Must I speak now?

QUINCE:

Ay, marry, must you; for you must understand he
goes but to see a noise that he heard, and is to come
again.(85)

QUINCE:

Ay, darn it, you must because you must understand he only
Goes to see a noise that he heard, and will come again.

FLUTE:

Most radiant Pyramus, most lily-white of hue,
Of color like the red rose on triumphant brier,
Most brisky juvenal, and eke most lovely Jew,
As true as truest horse, that would never tire,
I'll meet thee, Pyramus, at Ninny's tomb.(90)

FLUTE:

“Most radiant Pyramus, most lily white of hue,
Of color like the red rose on triumphant stem,
Most rushing youth, and most lovely Jew,
As true as truest horse that would never tire,
I'll meet you, Pyramus, at Ninny's tomb.”

QUINCE:

‘Ninus’ tomb,' man! Why, you must not speak that
yet; that you answer to Pyramus. You speak all your part
at once, cues, and all. Pyramus enter: your cue is past; it is
‘never tire.’

QUINCE:

Ninus' tomb, man. Why, you must not speak that line yet.
That’s your answer to Pyramus. You speak your whole part all at once,
cues, and all.—Pyramus enter. Your cue is past. It is “never
tire.”

FLUTE:

O—As true as truest horse, that yet would never tire.(95)

FLUTE:

Oh,”—As true as truest horse, that yet would never tire.”

[Re-enter Puck, and Bottom with an ass's head]

BOTTOM:

If I were fair, Thisbe, I were only thine.

BOTTOM:

“If I were fair, Thisbe, I would only be yours.”

QUINCE:

O monstrous! O strange! We are haunted. Pray,
masters! fly, masters! Help!

QUINCE:

Oh monstrous! Oh strange! We are attacked by ghosts. Let’s go, guys!
Let’s get out of here! Help!

The clowns all exit. {Puck remains.]

PUCK:

I'll follow you; I'll lead you about a round,
Through bog, through bush, through brake, through brier;(100)
Sometime a horse I'll be, sometime a hound,
A hog, a headless bear, sometime a fire;
And neigh, and bark, and grunt, and roar, and burn,
Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire, at every turn.

PUCK:

I'll follow you; I'll lead you in a circle,
Through bog, through bush, through more bushes, through brier;
Sometimes I’ll be a horse, sometimes a hound dog,
A hog, a headless bear, sometimes a fire;
And neigh, and bark, and grunt, and roar, and burn,
Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire, at every turn.

Exit

Enter [Bottom] with the Asshead

BOTTOM:

Why do they run away? This is a knavery of them(105)
to make me afeard.

BOTTOM:

Why do they run away? This is a bad joke of theirs to frighten me.

[Re-]enter Snout

SNOUT:

O Bottom, thou art changed! What do I see on
thee?

SNOUT:

Oh Bottom, you are changed! What do I see on you?

BOTTOM:

What do you see? You see an ass-head of your
own, do you?(110)

BOTTOM:

What do you see? You see an donkey-head of your own, do you?

[Exit Snout]

[Re-]enter Peter Quince

QUINCE:

Bless thee, Bottom, bless thee! Thou art translated.

QUINCE:

Bless you, Bottom! Bless you! You have been translated into something else!

[Exit]

BOTTOM:

I see their knavery: this is to make an ass of me;
to fright me, if they could. But I will not stir from this
place, do what they can; I will walk up and down here,
and will sing, that they shall hear I am not afraid.(115)

[Sings]

The ousel cock, so black of hue,
With orange-tawny bill,
The throstle with his note so true,
The wren with little quill.

BOTTOM:

I see what they’re up to. This is to make a donkey of me, to
frighten me, if they can. But I will not move from this
place, no matter what they do. I will walk up and down here,
and I will sing, so that they’ll hear I am not afraid. The black rooster, so black of hue,
With orange-tawny bill,
The thrush with his note so true,
The wren with little quill.