Scene II

Athens

Enter Quince the Carpenter, Snug the Joiner, Bottom the Weaver, Flute the Bellows-mender, Snout the Tinker, and Starveling the Taylor

QUINCE:

Is all our company here?

QUINCE:

Is everybody here?

BOTTOM:

You were best to call them generally, man by
man, according to the scrip.

BOTTOM:

It would be better if you took attendance, man by man,
according to the list.

QUINCE:

Here is the scroll of every man's name, which is
thought fit, through all Athens, to play in our interlude(5)
before the duke and the duchess on his wedding-day at
night.

QUINCE:

Here is the list of every man's name, who are thought to be the best in all Athens, to play in our play before the duke and duchess at night on their wedding-day.

BOTTOM:

First, good Peter Quince, say what the play treats
on; then read the names of the actors; and so grow to a
point. (10)

BOTTOM:

First, good Peter Quince, tell us what the play’s about,
then read the names of the actors; and so get to the point.

QUINCE:

Marry, our play is, The Most Lamentable Comedy
and Most Cruel Death of Pyramus and Thisbe.

QUINCE:

By Mary, our play is—The most lamentable comedy and most
cruel death of Pyramus and Thisbe.

BOTTOM:

A very good piece of work, I assure you, and a
merry. Now, good Peter Quince, call forth your actors
by the scroll. Masters, spread yourselves.(15)

BOTTOM:

A very good piece of work, I assure you, and a merry one.—
Now, good Peter Quince, call the actors’ names, and give them their rolls.
Ok, guys, spread out.

QUINCE:

Answer as I call you. Nick Bottom, the weaver.

QUINCE:

Answer me as I call you.—Nick Bottom, the weaver.

BOTTOM:

Ready. Name what part I am for, and proceed.

BOTTOM:

I’m ready. Tell me what my part is, and then proceed.

QUINCE:

You, Nick Bottom, are set down for Pyramus.

QUINCE:

You, Nick Bottom, are set down for Pyramus.

BOTTOM:

What is Pyramus? A lover, or a tyrant?

BOTTOM:

What is Pyramus? a lover, or a tyrant?

QUINCE:

A lover, that kills himself most gallant for love.(20)

QUINCE:

A lover that kills himself most gallantly for love.

BOTTOM:

That will ask some tears in the true performing of
it. If I do it, let the audience look to their eyes; I will
move storms; I will condole in some measure. To the
rest: yet my chief humor is for a tyrant. I could play
Ercles rarely, or a part to tear a cat in, to make all(25)
split.
‘The raging rocks
And shivering shocks
Shall break the locks
Of prison gates;(30)
And Phibbus' car
Shall shine from far,
And make and mar
The foolish Fates.'
This was lofty! Now name the rest of the players. This is(35)
Ercles' vein, a tyrant's vein: a lover is more condoling.

BOTTOM:

That will require some tears in the true performance of it.
If I do it, the audience will have to cry. I will move them to
storms of tears; I will rouse their pity in some measure. To the rest.—yet, my
favorite way to play it is to be a tyrant. I could play Hercules beyond compare, or a
part to tear a lion apart in, to bring disaster everywhere.
The raging rocks
And shivering shocks
Shall break the locks
Of prison gates.
And Phibbus' car
Shall shine from far,
And make and mar
The foolish Fates.
This was very well done.—Now name the rest of the players.—This is
Hercules' vein, a tyrant's vein;—a lover is more sad and thoughtful.

QUINCE:

Francis Flute, the bellows-mender.

QUINCE:

Francis Flute, the bellows-mender.

FLUTE:

Here, Peter Quince.

FLUTE:

Here, Peter Quince.

QUINCE:

Flute, you must take Thisbe on you.

QUINCE:

Flute, you must take the role of Thisbe.

FLUTE:

What is Thisbe? A wandering knight?(40)

FLUTE:

What is Thisbe? A wandering knight?

QUINCE:

It is the lady that Pyramus must love.

QUINCE:

It is the lady that Pyramus loves.

FLUTE:

Nay, faith, let not me play a woman; I have a beard
coming.

FLUTE:

No, please, don’t let me play a woman; I have a beard starting t o grow.

QUINCE:

That's all one; you shall play it in a mask, and you
may speak as small as you will.(45)

QUINCE:

That’s nothing to worry about; You shall play it with a mask on, and you can make your voice as light as you want.

BOTTOM:

An I may hide my face, let me play Thisbe too. I'll
speak in a monstrous little voice: ‘Thisne, Thisne!’ [Then
speaking small] ‘Ah Pyramus, my lover dear! Thy Thisbe
dear, and lady dear!’

BOTTOM:

If I can hide my face, let me play Thisbe too.
I'll speak in a monstrous little voice;—'Thisbe, Thisbe!'—
Ah, Pyramus, my lover dear; your Thisbe dear! and lady dear!'

QUINCE:

No, no, you must play Pyramus; and, Flute, you(50)
Thisbe.

QUINCE:

No, no, you must play Pyramus; and, Flute, you Thisbe.

BOTTOM:

Well, proceed.

BOTTOM:

Ok. Go ahead.

QUINCE:

Robin Starveling, the tailor.

QUINCE:

Robin Starveling, the tailor.

STARVELING:

Here, Peter Quince.

STARVELING:

Here, Peter Quince.

QUINCE:

Robin Starveling, you must play Thisbe's mother.(55)
Tom Snout, the tinker.

QUINCE:

Robin Starveling, you must play Thisbe's mother.—
Tom Snout, the tinker.

SNOUT:

Here, Peter Quince.

SNOUT:

Here, Peter Quince.

QUINCE:

You, Pyramus' father; myself, Thisbe's father; Snug,
the joiner, you, the lion's part. And, I hope, here is a play
fitted. (60)

QUINCE:

You, Pyramus' father; I will play Thisbe's father;—Snug,
the joiner, you will play the lion's part.—and, I hope, here is a very well cast play.

SNUG:

Have you the lion's part written? Pray you, if it be,
give it me, for I am slow of study.

SNUG:

Have you written the lion's part? Please, if it is, give it to
me now, because I am slow in studying my lines.

QUINCE:

You may do it extempore, for it is nothing but
roaring.

QUINCE:

You may do it off the top of your head, because it’s nothing but roaring.

BOTTOM:

Let me play the lion too. I will roar that I will do(65)
any man's heart good to hear me; I will roar, that I will
make the duke say ‘Let him roar again, let him roar again.’

BOTTOM:

Let me play the lion too. I will roar so well that it will do
any man's heart good to hear me; I will roar so well that I will make the
duke say, “Let him roar again, let him roar again.”

QUINCE:

An you should do it too terribly, you would fright
the duchess and the ladies, that they would shriek; and
that were enough to hang us all.(70)

QUINCE:

If you should do it too terribly, you would so frighten the
duchess and the ladies, that they would scream; and that would be
enough to hang us all.

ALL:

That would hang us, every mother's son.

ALL:

That would hang us, every mother's son.

BOTTOM:

I grant you, friends, if you should fright the ladies
out of their wits, they would have no more discretion
but to hang us; but I will aggravate my voice so, that I
will roar you as gently as any sucking dove; I will roar(75)
you an't were any nightingale.

BOTTOM:

I agree with you, friends, if you should frighten the ladies
out of their wits, they would have no better reason but to hang
us. but I will change my voice so, that I will roar as
gently as any newborn dove; I will roar as if I were any
nightingale.

QUINCE:

You can play no part but Pyramus; for Pyramus is
a sweet-faced man; a proper man, as one shall see in a
summer's day; a most lovely gentleman-like man; therefore
you must needs play Pyramus.(80)

QUINCE:

You can play no part but Pyramus; for Pyramus is a
sweet-faced man; a proper man that you shall see on a summer's
day; a most lovely gentleman-like man; therefore you must
absolutely play Pyramus.

BOTTOM:

Well, I will undertake it. What beard were I best
to play it in?

BOTTOM:

OK, I’ll do it. What beard would be best to play it in?

QUINCE:

Why, what you will.

QUINCE:

Whichever one you want.

BOTTOM:

I will discharge it in either your straw color
beard, your orange-tawny beard, your purple-in-grain(85)
beard, or your French crown color beard, your perfect
yellow.

BOTTOM:

I will play it in either your straw-color beard,
your orange-tawny beard, your purple-in-grain beard, or your
French-crown-color beard, your perfect yellow.

QUINCE:

Some of your French crowns have no hair at all,
and then you will play barefaced. But, masters, here are
your parts; and I am to entreat you, request you, and(90)
desire you, to con them by tomorrow night; and meet
me in the palace wood, a mile without the town, by
moonlight; there will we rehearse; for if we meet in the
city, we shall be dogg'd with company, and our devices
known. In the meantime I will draw a bill of properties,(95)
such as our play wants. I pray you, fail me not.

QUINCE:

Some of your French crowns have no hair at all, and
then you will play it with no beard!!— But, guys, here are your
parts,. and I beg you, request you, and want you to memorize
them by tomorrow night; and meet me in the palace forest, a
mile outside town, by moonlight; there will we rehearse, because
if we meet in the city, we shall be bothered by on-lookers, and our
play known. In the meantime, I will draw a list of props,
that our play needs. I beg you, don’t let me down.

BOTTOM:

We will meet; and there we may rehearse most
obscenely and courageously. Take pains; be perfect;
adieu.

BOTTOM:

We will meet; and there we may rehearse most obscenely
and courageously. Be careful; be perfect; goodbye.

QUINCE:

At the duke's oak we meet.(100)

QUINCE:

We’ll meet at the duke's oak.

BOTTOM:

Enough; hold, or cut bow-strings.

BOTTOM:

Enough; stay or get going!

Exeunt