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Scene II

Before Gloucester's castle.

[Enter Kent and Oswald, severally]

OSWALD:

Good dawning to thee, friend: art of this house?

KENT:

Ay.

OSWALD:

Where may we set our horses?

KENT:

I' the mire.

OSWALD:

Prithee, if thou lovest me, tell me.(5)

KENT:

I love thee not.

OSWALD:

Why, then, I care not for thee.

KENT:

If I had thee in Lipsbury pinfold, I would make thee care
for me.

OSWALD:

Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not.(10)

KENT:

Fellow, I know thee.

OSWALD:

What dost thou know me for?

KENT:

A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base,
proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy,
worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave,(15)
a whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue;
one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in
way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of
a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a
mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining,(20)
if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition.

OSWALD:

Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou, thus to rail on
one that is neither known of thee nor knows thee!

KENT:

What a brazen-faced varlet art thou, to deny thou
knowest me! Is it two days ago since I tripped up thy heels,(25)
and beat thee before the king? Draw, you rogue: for, though
it be night, yet the moon shines; I'll make a sop o' the
moonshine of you: draw, you whoreson cullionly barbermonger,
draw.

[Drawing his sword]

OSWALD:

Away! I have nothing to do with thee.(30)

KENT:

Draw, you rascal: you come with letters against the king;
and take vanity the puppet's part against the royalty of her
father: draw, you rogue, or I'll so carbonado your shanks:
draw, you rascal; come your ways.

OSWALD:

Help, ho! murder! help!(35)

KENT:

Strike, you slave; stand, rogue, stand; you neat slave,
strike!

[Beating him]

OSWALD:

Help, ho! murder! murder!

[Enter Edmund, with his rapier drawn, Cornwall, Regan, Gloucester, and Servants]

EDMUND:

How now! What's the matter? Part.(40)

KENT:

With you, goodman boy, an you please: come, I'll flesh
ye; come on, young master.

GLOUCESTER:

Weapons! arms! What's the matter here?

CORNWALL:

Keep peace, upon your lives:
He dies that strikes again. What is the matter?(45)

REGAN:

The messengers from our sister and the king.

CORNWALL:

What is your difference? speak.

OSWALD:

I am scarce in breath, my lord.

KENT:

No marvel, you have so bestirred your valor. You
cowardly rascal, nature disclaims in thee: a tailor made(50)
thee.

CORNWALL:

Thou art a strange fellow: a tailor make a man?

KENT:

Ay, a tailor, sir: a stone-cutter or painter could not have
made him so ill, though he had been but two hours at the
trade.(55)

CORNWALL:

Speak yet, how grew your quarrel?

OSWALD:

This ancient ruffian, sir, whose life I have spared at
suit of his gray beard,—

KENT:

Thou whoreson zed! thou unnecessary letter! My
lord, if you will give me leave, I will tread this unbolted(60)
villain into mortar, and daub the wall of a jakes with
him. Spare my gray beard, you wagtail?

CORNWALL:

Peace, sirrah!
You beastly knave, know you no reverence?

KENT:

Yes, sir; but anger hath a privilege.(65)

CORNWALL:

Why art thou angry?

KENT:

That such a slave as this should wear a sword,
Who wears no honesty. Such smiling rogues as these,
Like rats, oft bite the holy cords a-twain
Which are too intrinse to unloose; smooth every(70)
passion
That in the natures of their lords rebel;
Bring oil to fire, snow to their colder moods;
Renege, affirm, and turn their halcyon beaks
With every gale and vary of their masters,(75)
Knowing nought, like dogs, but following.
A plague upon your epileptic visage!
Smile you my speeches, as I were a fool?
Goose, if I had you upon Sarum plain,
I'ld drive ye cackling home to Camelot.(80)

CORNWALL:

Why, art thou mad, old fellow?

GLOUCESTER:

How fell you out? say that.

KENT:

No contraries hold more antipathy
Than I and such a knave.

CORNWALL:

Why dost thou call him a knave? What's his(85)
offense?

KENT:

His countenance likes me not.

CORNWALL:

No more, perchance, does mine, nor his, nor hers.

KENT:

Sir, 'tis my occupation to be plain:
I have seen better faces in my time(90)
Than stands on any shoulder that I see
Before me at this instant.

CORNWALL:

This is some fellow,
Who, having been praised for bluntness, doth affect
A saucy roughness, and constrains the garb(95)
Quite from his nature: he cannot flatter, he,
An honest mind and plain, he must speak truth!
An they will take it, so; if not, he's plain.
These kind of knaves I know, which in this plainness
Harbor more craft and more corrupter ends(100)
Than twenty silly ducking observants
That stretch their duties nicely.

KENT:

Sir, in good sooth, in sincere verity,
Under the allowance of your great aspect,
Whose influence, like the wreath of radiant fire(105)
On flickering Phoebus' front,—

CORNWALL:

What mean'st by this?

KENT:

To go out of my dialect, which you discommend so much.
I know, sir, I am no flatterer: he that beguiled you in a plain
accent was a plain knave; which for my part I will not be,(110)
though I should win your displeasure to entreat me to 't.

CORNWALL:

What was the offence you gave him?

OSWALD:

I never gave him any:
It pleased the king his master very late
To strike at me, upon his misconstruction;(115)
When he, conjunct and flattering his displeasure,
Tripped me behind; being down, insulted, railed,
And put upon him such a deal of man,
That worthied him, got praises of the king
For him attempting who was self-subdued;(120)
And, in the fleshment of this dread exploit,
Drew on me here again.

KENT:

None of these rogues and cowards
But Ajax is their fool.

CORNWALL:

Fetch forth the stocks!(125)
You stubborn ancient knave, you reverend braggart,
We'll teach you—

KENT:

Sir, I am too old to learn:
Call not your stocks for me: I serve the king;
On whose employment I was sent to you:(130)
You shall do small respect, show too bold malice
Against the grace and person of my master,
Stocking his messenger.

• an area with wet, soggy ground; bog
• i.e., if you will be so kind
• i.e., enclosed in my mouth
• wearing cheap socks
• fussy
• pimp
• pimp, go-between
• rascal
• a piece of bread or cake soaked in liquid before being eaten
• despicable
• frequenter of hairdressers
• cut as one would meat
• denies her part
• tailors were considered effeminate and were often the object of ridicule
• badly
• the letter “Z,” considered superfluous
• defile
• privy
• a hopping bird
• respect
• God-given bonds (as between a father and daughters)
• intricate
• kingfisher
• distorted
• countenance
• salisbury
• legendary home of King Arthur
• a strong dislike
• appeals to
• distorts, twists
• appearance
• away from
• too carefully; fussily
• truth
• countenance
• Greek sun god, Apollo
• tricked
• plea
• misunderstanding
• joining in
• assaulting
• successful accomplishment
• act
• ancient Greek warrior known for his temper
• an enclosure for prisoners

1. Strategies for Understanding Shakespeare's Language
2. Reading Pointers for Sharper Insight
3. Act I
   1. Scene I
   2. Scene II
   3. Scene III
   4. Scene IV
   5. Scene V
4. Act II
   1. Scene I
   2. Scene II
   3. Scene III
   4. Scene IV
5. Act III
   1. Scene I
   2. Scene II
   3. Scene III
   4. Scene IV
   5. Scene V
   6. Scene VI
   7. Scene VII
6. Act IV
   1. Scene I
   2. Scene II
   3. Scene III
   4. Scene IV
   5. Scene V
   6. Scene VI
   7. Scene VII
7. Act V
   1. Scene I
   2. Scene II
   3. Scene III
8. Copyright

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