King Lear | Act II, Scene II

Scene II

Before Gloucester's castle.

[Enter Kent and Oswald, severally]

OSWALD:
Good dawning to thee, friend: art of this house?
KENT:
Ay.
OSWALD:
Where may we set our horses?
KENT:
I' the mire.
OSWALD:
Prithee, if thou lovest me, tell me.(5)
KENT:
I love thee not.
OSWALD:
Why, then, I care not for thee.
KENT:
If I had thee in Lipsbury pinfold, I would make thee care
for me.
OSWALD:
Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not.(10)
KENT:
Fellow, I know thee.
OSWALD:
What dost thou know me for?
KENT:
A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base,
proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy,
worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave,(15)
a whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue;
one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in
way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of
a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a
mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining,(20)
if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition.
OSWALD:
Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou, thus to rail on
one that is neither known of thee nor knows thee!
KENT:
What a brazen-faced varlet art thou, to deny thou
knowest me! Is it two days ago since I tripped up thy heels,(25)
and beat thee before the king? Draw, you rogue: for, though
it be night, yet the moon shines; I'll make a sop o' the
moonshine of you: draw, you whoreson cullionly barbermonger,
draw.

[Drawing his sword]

OSWALD:
Away! I have nothing to do with thee.(30)
KENT:
Draw, you rascal: you come with letters against the king;
and take vanity the puppet's part against the royalty of her
father: draw, you rogue, or I'll so carbonado your shanks:
draw, you rascal; come your ways.
OSWALD:
Help, ho! murder! help!(35)
KENT:
Strike, you slave; stand, rogue, stand; you neat slave,
strike!

[Beating him]

OSWALD:
Help, ho! murder! murder!

[Enter Edmund, with his rapier drawn, Cornwall, Regan, Gloucester, and Servants]

EDMUND:
How now! What's the matter? Part.(40)
KENT:
With you, goodman boy, an you please: come, I'll flesh
ye; come on, young master.
GLOUCESTER:
Weapons! arms! What's the matter here?
CORNWALL:
Keep peace, upon your lives:
He dies that strikes again. What is the matter?(45)
REGAN:
The messengers from our sister and the king.
CORNWALL:
What is your difference? speak.
OSWALD:
I am scarce in breath, my lord.
KENT:
No marvel, you have so bestirred your valor. You
cowardly rascal, nature disclaims in thee: a tailor made(50)
thee.
CORNWALL:
Thou art a strange fellow: a tailor make a man?
KENT:
Ay, a tailor, sir: a stone-cutter or painter could not have
made him so ill, though he had been but two hours at the
trade.(55)
CORNWALL:
Speak yet, how grew your quarrel?
OSWALD:
This ancient ruffian, sir, whose life I have spared at
suit of his gray beard,—
KENT:
Thou whoreson zed! thou unnecessary letter! My
lord, if you will give me leave, I will tread this unbolted(60)
villain into mortar, and daub the wall of a jakes with
him. Spare my gray beard, you wagtail?
CORNWALL:
Peace, sirrah!
You beastly knave, know you no reverence?
KENT:
Yes, sir; but anger hath a privilege.(65)
CORNWALL:
Why art thou angry?
KENT:
That such a slave as this should wear a sword,
Who wears no honesty. Such smiling rogues as these,
Like rats, oft bite the holy cords a-twain
Which are too intrinse to unloose; smooth every(70)
passion
That in the natures of their lords rebel;
Bring oil to fire, snow to their colder moods;
Renege, affirm, and turn their halcyon beaks
With every gale and vary of their masters,(75)
Knowing nought, like dogs, but following.
A plague upon your epileptic visage!
Smile you my speeches, as I were a fool?
Goose, if I had you upon Sarum plain,
I'ld drive ye cackling home to Camelot.(80)
CORNWALL:
Why, art thou mad, old fellow?
GLOUCESTER:
How fell you out? say that.
KENT:
No contraries hold more antipathy
Than I and such a knave.
CORNWALL:
Why dost thou call him a knave? What's his(85)
offense?
KENT:
His countenance likes me not.
CORNWALL:
No more, perchance, does mine, nor his, nor hers.
KENT:
Sir, 'tis my occupation to be plain:
I have seen better faces in my time(90)
Than stands on any shoulder that I see
Before me at this instant.
CORNWALL:
This is some fellow,
Who, having been praised for bluntness, doth affect
A saucy roughness, and constrains the garb(95)
Quite from his nature: he cannot flatter, he,
An honest mind and plain, he must speak truth!
An they will take it, so; if not, he's plain.
These kind of knaves I know, which in this plainness
Harbor more craft and more corrupter ends(100)
Than twenty silly ducking observants
That stretch their duties nicely.
KENT:
Sir, in good sooth, in sincere verity,
Under the allowance of your great aspect,
Whose influence, like the wreath of radiant fire(105)
On flickering Phoebus' front,—
CORNWALL:
What mean'st by this?
KENT:
To go out of my dialect, which you discommend so much.
I know, sir, I am no flatterer: he that beguiled you in a plain
accent was a plain knave; which for my part I will not be,(110)
though I should win your displeasure to entreat me to 't.
CORNWALL:
What was the offence you gave him?
OSWALD:
I never gave him any:
It pleased the king his master very late
To strike at me, upon his misconstruction;(115)
When he, conjunct and flattering his displeasure,
Tripped me behind; being down, insulted, railed,
And put upon him such a deal of man,
That worthied him, got praises of the king
For him attempting who was self-subdued;(120)
And, in the fleshment of this dread exploit,
Drew on me here again.
KENT:
None of these rogues and cowards
But Ajax is their fool.
CORNWALL:
Fetch forth the stocks!(125)
You stubborn ancient knave, you reverend braggart,
We'll teach you—
KENT:
Sir, I am too old to learn:
Call not your stocks for me: I serve the king;
On whose employment I was sent to you:(130)
You shall do small respect, show too bold malice
Against the grace and person of my master,
Stocking his messenger.
  • an area with wet, soggy ground; bog
  • i.e., if you will be so kind
  • i.e., enclosed in my mouth
  • wearing cheap socks
  • fussy
  • pimp
  • pimp, go-between
  • rascal
  • a piece of bread or cake soaked in liquid before being eaten
  • despicable
  • frequenter of hairdressers
  • cut as one would meat
  • denies her part
  • tailors were considered effeminate and were often the object of ridicule
  • badly
  • the letter “Z,” considered superfluous
  • defile
  • privy
  • a hopping bird
  • respect
  • God-given bonds (as between a father and daughters)
  • intricate
  • kingfisher
  • distorted
  • countenance
  • salisbury
  • legendary home of King Arthur
  • a strong dislike
  • appeals to
  • distorts, twists
  • appearance
  • away from
  • too carefully; fussily
  • truth
  • countenance
  • Greek sun god, Apollo
  • tricked
  • plea
  • misunderstanding
  • joining in
  • assaulting
  • successful accomplishment
  • act
  • ancient Greek warrior known for his temper
  • an enclosure for prisoners
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