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Why are love marriages better than arranged ones?Why are love marriages better than...

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krissy2 | Student, Grade 11 | eNotes Newbie

Posted February 16, 2011 at 7:22 PM via web

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Why are love marriages better than arranged ones?

Why are love marriages better than arranged ones?

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pohnpei397 | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted February 16, 2011 at 7:33 PM (Answer #2)

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Not everyone would agree that love marriages are better than arranged ones.  In some cultures, it is believed that arranged marriages are more stable because the couple is picked for one another by people who are older and more experienced.

However, I would argue that love marriages are better because a marriage is, ultimately, about the relationship between the two people involved.  It is not really possible for other people to know what kinds of people belong together.  I do not believe that family members can do better than individuals themselves in picking a mate.

Of course, that is not to say that all love marriages work. However, I think that love marriages are better because they allow people the freedom to pick the mate that they want instead of having to simply accept the mate picked for them by someone else.  In a relationship as intimate as marriage, that is vital.

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justaguide | College Teacher | (Level 2) Distinguished Educator

Posted February 16, 2011 at 8:15 PM (Answer #3)

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The alternative to love marriage is usually referred to as arranged marriage. Arranged marriages are ones where the bride and groom do not know each other before marriage and are therefore not in love with each other. They get to know each other through an advertisement in a newspaper, or a matrimonial website or a referral by someone they know.

The couple that is entering into a married relationship have to get to know each other after marriage and perhaps would like each other if not start to love each other over time.

In this way of getting married both the husband as well as the wife are aware that things may not turn out as anticipated and the person they are marrying may not be one whom they would like to spend their life with.

Though the opposite to the above case could also happen and two people in love may not be comfortable in a marital relationship.

There are no guarantees to how relationships turn out in life. So it is a little difficult to say with certainty that love marriages are better than arranged marriages.

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accessteacher | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted February 17, 2011 at 2:39 AM (Answer #4)

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I would actually disagree with the general idea of this question, that somehow love marriages are "superior" to arranged marriages. If we think about this topic sociologically, love marriages, that depend on one or both partners falling "in love" with the other and then getting married on this basis, are actually a relatively new invention. Cultures have been practising arranged marriages for aeons, and have managed to survive. Such a view also reveals a rather supercilious attitude towards other cultures that practice arranged marriages, if you don't mind me saying. We like to think that we are somehow better and "more civilised" than such cultures, yet interestingly in the West we have statistics that show that nearly one in two marriages based on love end in divorce. Other cultures would argue that arranged marriages allow the family, who know you and are able to take a maturer, more considered view on the topic, to become involved in who you will marry. They also say that love is something that must be allowed to grow slowly and surely rather than it being like a light switch.

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litteacher8 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Distinguished Educator

Posted August 3, 2011 at 8:22 AM (Answer #5)

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A marriage formed on the basis of love gives the participants a reason to be happy together. If they love each other, they will be committed to one another and ready to work through the challenges of the marriages. A marriage based on love also means that the partners choose each other.

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