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Which would be better hook/opening statement for a persuasivve essay on the internet...

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sasuke24 | Student, Undergraduate

Posted July 4, 2013 at 7:16 PM via web

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Which would be better hook/opening statement for a persuasivve essay on the internet having a negative effect on teens? "From the beginnning of mankind, thousands of advantageous innovations (inventions?) have been invented. (or ; ?)Technology is not one of them." or "Ever since its creation fifty four years ago, the World Wide Web has been demmed a evolutionary breakthrough. However, ..." 

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handbooktoliterature | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Adjunct Educator

Posted July 4, 2013 at 8:11 PM (Answer #1)

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Sentence two is better. Watch your spelling of "deemed" and consider if "evolutionary" is the word you are really looking for in that spot. Sentence two is stronger because it more closely focuses on your topic without sounding too self important or grandiose. 

You may consider using an anecdote or striking scenario to begin your essay. Use a few sentences instead of one to get the reader's attention by describing a scene in which the Internet is being harmful to a teen or getting them in trouble. After painting that ugly picture, transition to sentence two above, give background, and then give a strong thesis statement. 

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