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I have a very difficult time dealing with the fact that I will never see the person that has died in this life ever again. I also have observed that as time passes, people forget and move on. I believe it is healthy for those that are alive and well to move on with their lives; however, it saddens me to think that people will forget and become busy with other things in their life.
I also often wonder where we will all go when we too must die?!
I personally have a very hard time dealing with the death of loved ones. I can't get passed the thought of never seeing or talking to them again. Once I get passed the death, I usually end up wondering what happens after death. Is there an afterlife? If so, what would my loved one be doing? It causes me to think about my own mortality and future. It can be comforting, thinking that I will one day see them again, but frustrating because I may need them at that moment. If you believe in an afterlife, the thought of being reunited with your loved ones, may give you hope when you need it and strength to perservere.
I think that losing someone you love is very difficult regardless of who it is. I also believe that the grieving process is different for everyone and how a person grieves is dependent on who the person is and how they passed.
For example, I have recently lost grandparents. It was difficult but they had been ill and it was expected. I was given the chance to say goodbye and deal with the fact that were going to die.
On the other hand, a friend of mine had a child pass away unexpectedly at the age of 16. This was incredibly difficult for her to deal with and honestly I can not even put into words how she felt. Her daughter was taken away from her in a car accident. She did not have the chance to say goodbye or prepare for it.
To me, this depends greatly on the circumstances of the death. The more unexpected the death and the younger the person, the harder it is to deal with.
For example, my grandmother died when she was 81 years old and we were not expecting her to die anytime very soon. She had a fall and died of her injuries. This was much harder, emotionally, than the death of my grandfather six months later. He was 88 and had heart trouble. He was also very saddened by my grandmother's death. We knew he would die soon and it was easier to accept.
I can only imagine having a parent die "too young" or, even worse, having one of my children die. The second of these, especially, would be so hard to deal with.
Any loss, great or small, is always saddening. To lose someone you love is to lose a part of your own world. Of course, the degree of sadness may vary according to the situation in which the loss occurs. If the loss is untimely and unexpected, the grief is lasting and, may be, permanant at some deeper level, though the surface heals with the passage of time. If the loss is expected and the loser gets time enough to prepare for the outcome, the condition may not be that inconsolable. In my view, preparedness for any loss is the only possible way to get the grief reduced to an extent.
Mortality is like a full-stop that completes the sentence of life. The sentence ends and the full-stop gives us a lot of pain due to separation for ever. But only in its end, it is a complete meaningful construction. Such losses, as we are talking about, have been transcended into great poetry like Gray's 'Elegy' and Tennyson's 'In Memoriam'.
Faith plays a major factor in this process. With faith, we mourn the physical loss of a loved one, but may be relieved in knowing their spirit is at a better place. There are many different ideas on this concept but, with faith, you can have some level of peace.
Losing someone you love is like losing an important part of yourself. Especially if that someone was a family member that has died. The important part to remember is how that person enriched or made your life better and how they changed you. If the affection for that person was strong and if you had many memories from your interactions with that person , then you have never lost that person, because they will always remain in your thoughts and dreams. The important ways that they influened you or helped you in someway in your life will never go away. And if they helped you become a better person for it , not can never be taken away either. We must all die someday , but if we work hard to love each other and contribute to other people's lives in some way , then we shall never die but live on in other people's memories, hopes, dreams, and if we are lucky enough make a footnote in the history book.
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