What are your thoughts on raising a child with having no soul mate to support you?How would you cope up with the situation and what possible actions will you take in order to deal with the...

What are your thoughts on raising a child with having no soul mate to support you?

How would you cope up with the situation and what possible actions will you take in order to deal with the particular situation? Please explain in a journal response form? Thank you very much!

Asked on by debbey

4 Answers | Add Yours

dano7744's profile pic

dano7744 | College Teacher | (Level 2) Educator

Posted on

It would be difficult to say the least. Stressful indeed. Many children are raised by a single parent due to divorce or other reasons. We all handle stress differently and this situation will require good coping skills to overcome a multitude of issues such as loneliness, fear, anger, and others. Depending on your support system you might want to consider seeking out the assistance of a professional counselor. Hopefully the counselor can help you identify ways to get through this difficult time in your life. Always realize there is hope and help out there for you.

clairewait's profile pic

clairewait | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted on

If I was to suddenly lose my husband the first thing I would do is move closer to my family.  I would need immediate support, not just to cope with the loss of the "soulmate," but in order to get help raising my 2 children.

In addition to the emotional need of adult support and connection, no one has yet talked about the financial burden of being a single parent.  First of all, as a teacher who is currently not working in order to raise my kids I would have to go back to work.  This means someone else would watch my children during the day.  The sad fact of the matter is putting two children in full-time daycare is too expensive for my teacher salary.  I would have to get free childcare - and family would be my first option.  I actually think my children would be elligible for free health care if my teacher salary was our only income, but again, I would have to work in a job that provided health care for myself.

akannan's profile pic

Ashley Kannan | Middle School Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

Individuals who have to raise a child on their own are many.  It is not an isolating experience and the "stigma" that used to be attached to such an experience is not as present.  We find many situations where there is only one parent raising children.  In terms of "coping," I think that a primary level of focus would have to be the very idea that one is living to provide their children with a life that is better than their own.  I would think that a way of making this situation work is to invert it.  Instead of focusing on what is absent, there is a child or children who are depending on me, the parent, to provide for them, to take care of them, and to ensure that they have the best that life has to offer.  While I might not have had a "soul mate" present, that becomes my lot in life to bear and should not be something that my children have to feel is lacking in their lives.  They did not ask to be brought into this world, and I suppose I would be motivated by ensuring that their presence in the world is complete with the elements which will help success be evident.

pohnpei397's profile pic

pohnpei397 | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

This is, of course, a very personal question and your answer, as a 12th grader, would surely be different than mine.

If my wife were to die now and leave me with our two children, it would be very difficult to say the least.  I think that it would be at least somewhat easier if the children had never known their mother.  As it is, my children would miss their mother so much and their sadness and mine would surely interact to make things harder for both me and the children.

As an older person, I assume that I would have the maturity to be able to deal with the grief, but I think that I would need to seek support from family members to help keep me emotionally stable so that I could get through all the emotions that raising a child can bring to a parent.

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