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What should I do to be a better father for my one year old little boy??Im only 17 and...

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bambam123 | Student, Undergraduate | eNotes Newbie

Posted November 8, 2011 at 12:09 AM via web

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What should I do to be a better father for my one year old little boy??

Im only 17 and dont know how to be a better father for my child. i love him dearly and i want him to grow and be the best he can be and not make the same mistakes i have made.

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readerofbooks | College Teacher | (Level 2) Educator Emeritus

Posted November 8, 2011 at 12:14 AM (Answer #2)

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I am genuinely touched by your heart and desire to be a better father. I think you are on the right track by asking people. I am a father and here is some points you might want to consider.

First, try to spend quality time with your son. This point is essential, because spending time with someone shows love. I know that this will be hard, because there are so many things to do and life is busy.

Second, since you are only 17 years old, try to look for a support group. If you have a supportive family, then seek their help and encouragement. Raising children at any age is hard work, really hard work. So, you will need good people around you.

Third, if you are religious in any way, seek their help as well. Sometimes churches have day care programs and other things in place to help people.

Fourth, live well and study hard. Children learn from observing. So, if you thrive in life; it will be a good example.

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bullgatortail | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Distinguished Educator

Posted November 8, 2011 at 2:45 AM (Answer #3)

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It is great that you admit and recognize the mistakes you have made. Make sure you bring up your son teaching him to avoid these same errors in judgement, but most importantly, as the previous post mentioned, spend as much quality time with him as possible. He will recognize your love and attention as he grows older, and both of you will benefit from this close relationship.

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mwestwood | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted November 8, 2011 at 8:28 AM (Answer #4)

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Studies have shown that there are four types of parents:  1. loving, but lenient  2.  loving and strict  3.  cold and strict, and 4. cold and lenient.  The worst is the cold and lenient because there is no demonstration with such parents of any caring for the child.  The best is the loving and strict because in each case, parents demonstrate that their desires are directed on the behalf the child.

Now, when parents are strict, but loving, children may still resent the discipline.  However, as they grow older they will understand that the parents were strict (provided this strictness was reasonable) because they really loved them.  So, love that baby, spend time with him, hug and kiss him. But, be firm in teaching him right from wrong, the importance of taking responsibility and the importance of working hard at everything he does, and teach him to be respectful of others.  Then, he will love you, too, and make you proud to be his father. 

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belarafon | High School Teacher | (Level 2) Educator Emeritus

Posted November 9, 2011 at 2:47 AM (Answer #5)

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I second #2's advice to find a support group. There is a lot of information and support available for young parents, as well as assistance, teaching, and local groups. An online search for parental support groups might help, and you should also check into seeing if you can get any supplemental income assistance from the government. One year old is too young to start teaching him about your life and the lessons you've learned, so focus on making his life happy. You will get your own joy from his.

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vangoghfan | College Teacher | (Level 2) Educator Emeritus

Posted November 27, 2011 at 5:36 AM (Answer #6)

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I, too, am very touched by your concern for your son; this in itself is a great sign.

I have just asked three other people their advice, and here are some suggestions from all of us:

1. Spend quality time with him.

2. Teach by example, especially good manners.

3. Read to him every day and encourage him to learn to read when the time comes.

4. Spend time with him outside as he grows older so that he will not grow up spending too much time playing video games.

5. When he becomes old enough, get him a dog, who will provide love and whom he can love.

6. Don't get him too many toys; instead get him some quality toys that he can spend some time with and which will encourage his imagination.

7. Take him to the zoo as he gets older.

8. Keep him away from potentially bad influences as he gets older.

9. Don't spoil him by giving him everything he thinks he wants.

10. Try to make learning fun rather than making it seem onerous.

11. In as many ways as possible, let him know as often as possible that he is loved.

Very best wishes to you!

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litteacher8 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Distinguished Educator

Posted February 20, 2012 at 12:20 PM (Answer #7)

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You can be a better father by being in your son's life as much as possible. You need to make sure that he knows you love him. Now and in the future, be involved in his life. Read to him, take him places to get new experiences, and most importantly, spend time with him.
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megan-bright | (Level 1) Associate Educator

Posted March 19, 2012 at 10:29 AM (Answer #8)

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At 17 you're just a child yourself. Your son needs you in every way so you will have to think and behave like a man in many ways. I do hope you have a positive relationship with the baby's mother. This will make everything much better, as your son needs loving parents.

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sfg13165 | Student, College Freshman | Honors

Posted April 25, 2012 at 3:22 PM (Answer #9)

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wow kyle didnt know you had a son. but just know that you will have to be a good father to your child and just give him all the love and support he needs and never give up on him. your just a child your self but you have to start making grown up decisions now that you have someone else to take care of. best of luck bro i love you

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bambam123 | Student, Undergraduate | eNotes Newbie

Posted April 30, 2012 at 3:07 PM (Answer #10)

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 Thank you guys for the excellent responses. i have taken your advice and put htme to action..i have to say its going pretty well. i am back in the relationship with my son's mother and we are working together to make our son's life better and teach him the things that heshould know for the real world.

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bambam123 | Student, Undergraduate | eNotes Newbie

Posted April 30, 2012 at 3:08 PM (Answer #11)

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#9: Now you know... :)

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