What is the irony in the lines "call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, you cannot play upon me."
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"Fret" has two meanings, both to vex and worry and as a verb, to finger chords on a guitar or similar stringed instrument. I suppose it could be applied to a pitch pipe or recorder, as we call them today, but that's no necessary to make sense out of the statement.
Now, a recorder is played by covering the ventages, stops or holes with the fingers. So one doesn't fret a recorder, but that's why Hamlet says, "Call me what instrument you will..."
I hope that clears up one of Shakespeares many puns or plays on words.
Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of
me! You would play upon me; you would seem to know
my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my
mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to
the top of my compass: and there is much music,
excellent voice, in this little organ; yet cannot
you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am
easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what
instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you
cannot play upon me.
A second way of looking at the problem of irony would be in the context of the entire play. Ros. and Guild. might be manipulating Hamlet, playing on him, but it's Hamlet's playing (and writing) that results in the deaths of all the major characters.
He admits to this ambition (to be a writer) in these lines:
Would not this, sir, and a forest of feathers-- if
the rest of my fortunes turn Turk with me--with two
Provincial roses on my razed shoes, get me a
fellowship in a cry of players, sir?
This is a little more far-fetched, but might be worth mentioning.
Hamlet is the master player, who would be a member of a troupe of actors. It is his writing and playing that rules in the larger play.
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