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What is a good conclusion paragraph for an essay on parents who base their life on...

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shon7892 | Student, Undergraduate | eNotes Newbie

Posted December 29, 2009 at 3:24 AM via web

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What is a good conclusion paragraph for an essay on parents who base their life on greed and materialism?

This is for the same research paper I am doing (with "The Rocking-Horse Winner").  I am almost done--just need a concluding paragraph.

 

Thank you guys for your help.

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mshargaden | Middle School Teacher | (Level 2) Adjunct Educator

Posted December 29, 2009 at 4:00 AM (Answer #1)

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What I tell my students about conclusions is that you should have three main parts.

First, restate your thesis. The thesis is your main argument of your essay. It sounds like the thesis is something about how parents should not be too materialistic and greedy. This is certainly a major theme in the short story "The Rocking-Horse Winner". You probably want to change he wording of your thesis and perhas introduce it by saying something like, "As I stated..." or "It is certainly clear that..."

Second, revisit the supporting points you used in your essay to prove the thesis is true. These would most likely be the topic sentences of your body paragraphs. In most essays, there are three body paragraphs and three points. You probably want to change them around a bit too.

Some supports you may have used for this particular thesis on this story are:

1--The parents' worries about money infect their son's life and contribute to his gambling problems.

2--The parents' over-concern for climbing the social ladder lead them to pressure their children, leading to their son's death.

3--The parents greed leads the family to try dangerous ways to show their love.

Of course, you may have different/better body paragrah topics. Please check in the body paragraphs to make sure you use textual support (quotes,etc.) to illustrate whatever points you are using.

In the conclusion, you should probably just write one sentence about each point, putting it in slightly new words from the way you stated it in the body paragraphs and introduction.

The last part of a good conclusion wraps everything up and inspires the reader. You might try two or three sentences that follow a pattern like this. I am giving you examples of ways I might finish these sentence stems in an essay on this thesis.

1--Make your point forcefully.

"As you can see..." parents can have a great impact on their children's lives, and in this case, the parents' greed and materialistic thinking led to Paul's destruction.

2--Make a connection to the present day/real world.

"In life..." we should all focus on the important things that money canot buy, like family ties, love, support, and authenticity.

3--Inspire your reader to change things in life. "So please..." appreciate all that life has to offer that is not bougt and sold, and know that your focus is in the right place for your kids and families.

 

Hope this helps!

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mkcapen1 | Middle School Teacher | Valedictorian

Posted December 29, 2009 at 4:00 AM (Answer #2)

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When I saw the question that you were asking I knew that it was in relation to the "Rocking Horse Winner."

People who live their lives in pursuit of materialism often lose sight of the things in life that are most important. In the Rocking Horse Winner" the parents took little notice of their children's accomplishments. They were socially driven to have the best of everything making greed a primary motive for their lack of concern over the toll that their son's rides on the horse were taking. They would be left in the end having lost it all for their spending habits were consistent in that the more money they had available, the more lavish their lifestyle became. So often in our society we witness this same kind of illusion, that money and objects can bring happiness. However, it is an endless climb for there is always someone with a little more than one has around the corner. In truth no ones income can ever climb the ladder so high that materialism and greed do not fall a wrung short.

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anakarlamtz | Student, Grade 10 | eNotes Newbie

Posted September 14, 2012 at 1:08 AM (Answer #3)

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khkh

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