Homework Help

What do you think of my body paragraph 7 ?Both girls in both novels are trapped by...

user profile pic

missyngdiva | Student, Grade 10 | Honors

Posted August 9, 2012 at 11:23 AM via web

dislike 1 like

What do you think of my body paragraph 7 ?

Both girls in both novels are trapped by their religious traditions. In Bread Givers , Reb’s children can not cope with their tradition. In Jewish culture the patriarch of the family marries off their children to a man, but the Smolinsky daughter’s refuse. When they do find a man Reb does not accept. One of his daughters Bessie, is kept behind  from accepting Berel’s proposal and running away with him, and Jacob Novak’s obligation to his father keeps him away from Mashah and makes him break her heart. Because of their obligations to family, both Bessie and Mashah lose the people they want to be with forever. Fania is the only daughter that is able to go further without her father rebelling. Sara goes off to college and she too finds a man that her father accepts. All Smolinsky daughters are not able to live by their traditions. In Emily Goldberg Learns to Salsa, Emily is forced to stay in Puerto Rico until her mom recovers from the sudden death of her grandmother. Emily is only accustomed to her Jewish religious traditions, so when she stays in Puerto Rico she has to go to Church. Her Puerto Rican family is Catholic, but she is not accustomed to going to their type of Church. Her family expects her to attend Church with them. Even though she is not accustomed she still has to go anyway. Back in New York she was only mainly familiar with her Jewish side.

3 Answers | Add Yours

user profile pic

Kristen Lentz | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted August 9, 2012 at 3:42 PM (Answer #1)

dislike 1 like

Sentence 1: "Both girls in both" is a little repetitive.  Since this is your topic sentence, I suggest that you also add some content that refers back to your thesis: "Another main similarity between Bread Givers and Emily Goldberg Learns to Salsa is that both girls..."  You have a passive voice sentence "are trapped" but I recommend that you change it to "feel trapped," since the girls are not literally trapped by their religions, but rather feel that way.

Sentence 3: Change "marries their children off to a man" because it sounds like all of the children are only marrying one man, perhaps something like 'off to men of his choosing.'  Take the apostrophe out of 'daughter's' because it should just be plural, not possessive.

Sentence 4:  Put a comma after the dependent clause "When they do find a man,".

Sentence 5: Put a comma after 'daughters,' and I would break this sentence into two shorter sentences when you switch to talking about Jacob.

Sentence 9:  Think about rephrasing or rewording this sentence to be more analytical.  What about their traditions can they not live by?  All of them? It seems as though marriage customs were the largest stumbling block for the daughters.  Try to be more detailed.

Sentence 10: Since you switch to Emily Goldberg, try to insert a transition word to smooth the topic change from Bread Givers, like "Similarly in Emily Goldberg..."

Sentence 11-13: When you talk about Emily going to church, it gets a little confusing, because you have to differentiate between how she is used to going to the synagogue (Jewish place of worship), but now must adjust to attending Catholic Church with her Puerto Rican family. It would be better if you could include detail from the novel, perhaps even a quote about how the new Catholic services confuse Emily.

*Add a strong concluding statement that reinforces or restates your new topic sentence.  It should address the purpose of the paragraph--religious traditions as a similarity of the novels.

 

Sources:

Kristen Lentz

user profile pic

missyngdiva | Student, Grade 10 | Honors

Posted August 9, 2012 at 10:09 PM (Answer #2)

dislike 0 like

This is my conclusion: 

Being that both novels, Emily Goldberg Learns to Salsa and Bread Givers relate to each other substantially, they have different themes of poverty, background, and heritage. The characters are slightly alike and different. The authors of both novels make it seem very realistic. They share common themes of cultural identity and tradition. Both young girls struggle to find new beginnings and adapt to their culture and environment. Anzia Yezierska and Micol Ostow leads us to meet two young girls who are able to define themselves through their culture and prosper in life. 

user profile pic

missyngdiva | Student, Grade 10 | Honors

Posted August 9, 2012 at 10:21 PM (Answer #3)

dislike 0 like

Body Paragraph 6 revised : 

Another main similarity between Bread Giversand Emily Goldberg Learns to Salsais that both girls feel trapped by their religious traditions. In Bread Givers, Reb’s children cannot cope with their tradition. In Jewish culture the patriarch of the family marries off their children to a man of his choosing, but the Smolinsky daughters refuse. When they do find a man, Reb does not accept. One of his daughters, Bessie, is kept behind  from accepting Berel’s proposal and running away with him. Jacob Novak’s obligation to his father keeps him away from Mashah and makes him break her heart. Because of their obligations to family, both Bessie and Mashah lose the people they want to be with forever. Fania is the only daughter that is able to go further without her father rebelling. Sara goes off to college and she too finds a man that her father accepts. All Smolinsky daughters are not able to live by their traditions. They do not enjoy reading the Holy Torah and living by what it mentions. They also do not like bringing home money to their father, Reb while he is at home relaxing. The hardest part of living by tradition for them is being married off to a man not in their choosing. Similarly in Emily Goldberg Learns to Salsa, Emily is forced to stay in Puerto Rico until her mom recovers from the sudden death of her grandmother. Emily is only accustomed to her Jewish religious traditions, so when she stays in Puerto Rico she has to go to Church. At her “other” grandmother's wake she asks, “ Is it different than a Jewish funeral?” Her Puerto Rican family is Catholic, but she is not accustomed to going to their type of Church. Her family expects her to attend Church every Sunday with them. Even though she is not accustomed she still has to go anyway. Back in New York she was only mainly familiar with her Jewish side. Emily and Sara learn to live by their religious traditions by contending what approaches them.

Join to answer this question

Join a community of thousands of dedicated teachers and students.

Join eNotes