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This question is one most English teachers deal with at some point. For me, I loved this question because it indicated an interest in writing. Perhaps you could take this poem to a friend to read to see if they understand what you are saying. Take it to a teacher you trust and ask if he/she could read it when they have time. Listen to his/her opinions and decide if they would improve your poem. Experiment with their suggestions and see what they do.
If brought to me, I would ask you several questions about this draft, expecting that you would work hard at making it the best it could be. My response would entail:
Explain to me the reason why you chose this topic and point out the lines about which you are the most proud.
What were you trying to accomplish? Did you achieve it in your opinion?
Underline the show not tell examples in your poem.
Did you use any poetic devices to create images in the reader's mind? Do the images in your mind show up in your poem so that the reader can see them in his/her mind?
Show me the lines where your feelings and point of view come through the best.
Did you dig really deep for your true feelings about this topic or did you stay on the surface of how you think about this topic? This is the key to start writing good poetry.
After all this digging, I think you would have a better idea of whether your poem is good. If you believe it is, I would encourage you to submit it to FREE contests or student magazines for publication. DON'T be taken in by those which ask for money. I've had many students have their work published, so don't be afraid to try. I wish you well in your writing, and I hope this helps you keep writing.
Thanks so much Miss Wille,, That was really helpful,, I asked some of my friends and they all liked it and I was thinking about publishing it in the school magazine. Your guess was right because I adore writing. I'm also going to give it to my english teacher so she can improve my draft. If you would like to, I could send you a copy through your inbox. Anyway thanks again and I appreciate your time.
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