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I want to be an emancipated adult but how do I break it to my parents nicely?i want to...

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ashleyy09 | Student, Grade 11 | eNotes Newbie

Posted January 29, 2009 at 2:38 PM via web

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I want to be an emancipated adult but how do I break it to my parents nicely?

i want to be an emcipated adult but how do i break it to my parents nicely

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linda-allen | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Senior Educator

Posted January 29, 2009 at 3:01 PM (Answer #2)

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Are you sure you're mature enough? The fact that you're concerned about your parents' feelings is a good sign. In today's economy, do you really think you're able to provide for yourself? Where will you live? How will you provide for food, clothing, housing, transportation, utilities, medical expenses, medical insurance, auto insurance, and other needs? You need to be absolutely certain that you are ready for such a big step. So one way to break it to your parents might be to ask their advice for a hypothetical situation: A "What if I moved out?" sort of conversation.

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dbello | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator

Posted January 29, 2009 at 10:26 PM (Answer #3)

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I agree with linda-allen's point. Your concern for your parents obviously stems from respect which says a great deal about you and suggests a certain level of maturity. However, whether referred to as emancipation, independence, or personal freedom one can only have them when they are able to fully take care of themself. If you are under the age of 18 your parents or caregivers are legally responsible for you as well as your actions. In that sense you cannot be an emancipated adult until you are an adult in the eyes of the law. As far as personal emancipation, I do believe one must be able to financially support themself. After all the definition of emancipation is ones' ability to answer for oneself, politically, socially, and economically. Until you are of legal age and can provide for yourself, you must wait for your emancipation. Worry not, for it will come......

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frizzyperm | College Teacher | Valedictorian

Posted January 30, 2009 at 2:51 AM (Answer #4)

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'Emancipation' is not something that you do in a single, big, determined step or one speech to your parents. That's how it works in the movies, but not in real life. In real life it takes years and it's a rocky road. It is a gradual process of understanding who you are and accepting responsibilities. If your parents are sane, they will help where they can, but remember, they are only human. You are an individual trying to find peace of mind and happiness... but so are your parents. When we are little we think our parents know everything, then we grow up and discover they're just 'folks'. They can be stupid, awkward, childish, etc. They are not perfect! How dare they? :-)

One thing all adults try to tell young people is "being an adult is much more complicated than it looks. There's a lot of work and worries. And what we want is often not as important as what we have to do." (I wanted to be a handsome, radical painter who owned nothing but art and had affairs with a dozens of beautiful women. Hah! How naive! That's a movie, not a life.) Dreams are very important, and living an interesting life is essential, but you don't get everything you want.

Remember, the constitution only guarantees you the pursuit of happiness, and to be honest, when you are older you will see that pursuing happiness is the good bit. Life is a journey, not an arrival a destination. You never finish the jigsaw. You never stop. ;-)

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lynn30k | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Associate Educator

Posted January 31, 2009 at 12:22 PM (Answer #5)

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Make sure you really understand your reasons for wanting such a thing, before you present it to them. Do you have really good reasons? What are the pluses and minuses? How will you deal with the problems that come up, because they will.

Make sure your reasons are sound, and that what you are really after is not just more personal freedom to do as you please. That is another issue, entirely. Have you talked to a lawyer? That would be something else you should do, before talking to your parents.

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krishna-agrawala | College Teacher | Valedictorian

Posted May 24, 2009 at 8:32 AM (Answer #6)

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There is only one effective way to be emancipated - to be strong and able and to be self reliant. You don't have to tell any one to be emancipated.

For example if your are financially dependent on your parents, no amount of talking will make you financially independent. You can achieve that independence directly by earning, and indirectly by being helpful and useful in the house.

Of course you can talk to your parents to take guidance from them on how can you best improve your capabilities, and how you can be helpful to them and others. If you are not able to do this, you have a long way to go before you can be emancipated.

By the way, when you do become an emancipated adult - when you are Strong and capable enough to look after yourself and stand up for your convictions - there is no need to hide this fact from your parents - I am sure, they will be very happy to know this.

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besure77 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Senior Educator

Posted June 29, 2010 at 7:22 PM (Answer #7)

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There must be very good reasons to become emancipated and it takes a very mature teenager to be able to do this. It is a bit difficult to give you advice on how to break it to your parents when we really do not know the circumstances. In order to become emancipated, you must be able to prove that you are able and capable of supporting yourself.

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brettd | High School Teacher | (Level 2) Educator Emeritus

Posted June 29, 2010 at 7:40 PM (Answer #8)

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You don't indicate the reasons why you want to be emancipated.  Typically a judge only grants such motions if there is an abusive situation, or you can demonstrate clear negligence on the part of your parents, which it doesn't sound as though that's the case.  I know it can be tough just living at home as a teenager sometime, and you may really want to get out of there just to get out of there, but emancipation is a giant step, and I can think of no way to "break it" to your parents gently.

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litteacher8 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Distinguished Educator

Posted June 27, 2011 at 8:00 AM (Answer #9)

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The question is why you are ready to be emancipated. It is very uncommon and not that easy to do. Emancipation usually only occurs in the case of parental neglect or lack of family. Since you are concerned about your parents' feelngs, you seem to have some kind of relationship with them. Consider why you feel emancipation is needed first. Also remember that once you are emancipated you are going to need to be completely independent, which means having a job where you can support yourself.

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