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Is that the same things that a man and a woman want from marriage?

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sanjiwan | Student, Undergraduate | Honors

Posted November 13, 2009 at 1:25 PM via web

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Is that the same things that a man and a woman want from marriage?

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kimfuji | College Teacher | (Level 1) Associate Educator

Posted November 13, 2009 at 2:17 PM (Answer #1)

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It really depends on the two people because nowadays people are different than traditionally. In the older days, even when I was a child, women were dependent on men financially. Therefore women sought out men who could be sure to provide, not necessarily in order to become rich, but merely to be able to have a comfortable life. In that regard, women wanted financial stability. Traditionally men wanted a woman who could take good care of his home--that is be a good cook and good seamstress and cleaner, as well as a mother to his children--in addition to satisfying him. Nowadays these expectations are not exactly the same. I think women want a man who will allow them the freedom to work at a career of their choice. That is, he should help clean up  the house and do some child care in addition to having a good job.

Having said all of that, it really depends upon the couple. Because some women would rather stay home and only work to supplement her husband's income while using her time to raise children. Other women really prefer to work at a career then they would want a husband to share the housework and other dutues so they can focus their energy on working outside of the home.  Maybe they do not want children at all, or will want to have children later in life.

I think that two people should know each other very well and have these kinds of discussions before they choose to get married, so they have compatible ideas of what they want from a marriage.

 

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readerofbooks | College Teacher | (Level 2) Educator Emeritus

Posted November 13, 2009 at 2:20 PM (Answer #2)

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You ask a difficult question, because not all men are alike and not all women are a like. So, what a man wants in marriage will change from man to man. Also, what a woman wants in marriage will change from woman to woman.

Another point to consider is this. Not all men and women want to get married. So, they might not want anything.

Another perspective to consider is this. What men and women want and their expectation will differ greatly depending on where they live. Each society, as you know probably well, is very different.

In the light of these points, you might want to ask what you want.

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krishna-agrawala | College Teacher | Valedictorian

Posted November 13, 2009 at 7:02 PM (Answer #3)

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Answer to this question is likely to be highly subjective. Every person who gets married is likely to have different concepts of what marriage means to him or her and what is it that they expect to gain from it. These differences exist not only between men and women, but also different men and different women.

However we can say the when two people decide to get married they do expect to and agree share many common objectives and activities in life. For example they do aim to generally agree to have children and raise a family.

In addition to these essential common objectives, they are also likely to have some essentially differences in terms of their, expectations, wants, likes and dislikes.

Finally, a successful marriage also involves some minimum degree of compromises on part of both the partners in terms of their expectations, wants, likes and dislikes. In this types of compromises each partner seeks happiness and harmony in giving the other partner what he or she wants, rather than insisting on getting from the partner what you want.

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sanjiwan | Student , Undergraduate | Honors

Posted November 13, 2009 at 2:51 PM (Answer #4)

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Sorry, I did not clarify my question. I just wanted to know what are the expectation of a man and a woman from marriage just as human beings regarless of anything else.

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sanjiwan | Student , Undergraduate | Honors

Posted November 13, 2009 at 2:55 PM (Answer #5)

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I mean the very common thing that we want that can be applied to all the couples.

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jseligmann | High School Teacher | (Level 2) Associate Educator

Posted November 13, 2009 at 3:02 PM (Answer #6)

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There is absolutely no way to know. Most people who go into a marriage have no full, comprehensive, clear or sensible idea what they themselves really want from a marriage. And the list is enormous: companionship, love, sex, money, friendship, adventure, romance, a father, a mother, a brother, a sister, children, a crutch, a dependent, a slave, a master, control, someone to control, safety, danger, a challenge, comfort, pain, fun, understanding, sympathy, escape, freedom, oneness... who knows?

And like the saying goes: "Beware of what you want, for you just might get it." Ask around: see how many people marry someone for a specific trait and wind up, years later, hating that very same trait.

Here's the sad truth from divocerate.org:

According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%

And lots of them went into the marriage thinking they knew just what they wanted. But did they know what they really needed? And do needs change over time?

My advice: If you marry, marry for love, whatever that is to you, and strive to bring out the best in your mate. All the while, learn to compromise and be kind and keep a healthy sense of humor.

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