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Siblings...Why do my brother and sister get along so well and annoy me? I mean what can...

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amne | Student, Undergraduate | Salutatorian

Posted March 9, 2012 at 6:30 PM via web

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Siblings...

Why do my brother and sister get along so well and annoy me? I mean what can I do to shut them up?!

 

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najm1947 | Elementary School Teacher | Valedictorian

Posted March 9, 2012 at 6:51 PM (Answer #2)

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Unless someone knows the age of you three, it is a hard question to answer. But guessing you are the eldest and grown up and the siblings being much younger, they feel they have common interest which do not share and you feel annoyed.

You have been their age at some point in time so spare some time for them and pretend to be of their age, participate in their activities and you will notice the change in no time. Bossing is not going to work as you wish by saying, "I mean what can I do to shut them up?!". You have yo calm down and be one of them.

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amne | Student , Undergraduate | Salutatorian

Posted March 9, 2012 at 6:54 PM (Answer #3)

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Unless someone knows the age of you three, it is a hard question to answer. But guessing you are the eldest and grown up and the siblings being much younger, they feel they have common interest which do not share and you feel annoyed.

You have been their age at some point in time so spare some time for them and pretend to be of their age, participate in their activities and you will notice the change in no time. Bossing is not going to work as you wish by saying, "I mean what can I do to shut them up?!". You have yo calm down and be one of them.

You are right I am the oldest but my brother is 13 and my sister is 12. I am older than my brother by 2 years. To be honest being like them is hard!! I have tried but when I can't do what they want they get angry. They just don't get that this year for me is the most important!!

 

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najm1947 | Elementary School Teacher | Valedictorian

Posted March 9, 2012 at 7:34 PM (Answer #4)

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This year is important! OK, but some time can always be spared from the leisure time - you have to make a sacrifice. The other option could be to seek help of your parents though I personally feel it is not going to give you results, especially with such a small age difference.

I remember my time at this age and having only two years difference between all my elder and younger brothers, we had a very strong attachment with one another and time management was the most difficult problem. Natural emotional attachment has to be addressed and satisfied.

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amne | Student , Undergraduate | Salutatorian

Posted March 9, 2012 at 8:00 PM (Answer #5)

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It sounds so easy... but it's not!

I'm moving on to IB in September and if I don't get 7 B's I'm going nowhere. To be honest the thing that annoys me the most is when I do sacrifice at least 2 hours and decide it's enough they'll get angry and bug me for the whole day!!

They sometimes hurt my feelings to... (makes me sound like an idiot) I'm such an emotional person.

Plus, I know that I love them because my brother was in hospital for 2 days and I was the only one who cried for him but when he came home it's as if he was always the annoying person. :/

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pohnpei397 | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted March 9, 2012 at 10:52 PM (Answer #6)

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Sibling relationships are so hard...

Obviously, this is difficult to do, but the major solution here other than what has already been said is to wait.  Situations change and people change and therefore relationships change.  If you're 15 and your sister is 12, it could be that soon she'll be more interested in teenage girl type things than in hanging out with her brother.  Then she might turn to you for advice and friendship and such.

My point simply is that at this age things change quickly and what is bothering you now may be gone before long.  Of course, it is not easy to be patient...

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litteacher8 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Distinguished Educator

Posted March 9, 2012 at 11:19 PM (Answer #7)

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It sounds like you are feeling left out. I am guessing that based on your age and their age, they see you as an unknown entity. They don't relate as well to you because they are closer in age to one another and have grown up close. Try joining them in activities they enjoy, getting to know them better, and letting them see you in a different light.
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najm1947 | Elementary School Teacher | Valedictorian

Posted March 10, 2012 at 12:14 AM (Answer #8)

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With the situation described in post 5, I tend to think that the siblings need counseling both by you and your parents. They need to be told that you have to reduce time available for them due to your IB in six months time after which you will be available to them. They have to be told that it is important not only for you but for them as well as it can give them the pride that they helped you to achieve your objectives. Even the children can be made to feel great if they are made to believe that they are doing something good. You can set some incentive for them like giving them some prize if they help you in achieving your objectives as well.

I have a hunch that it is not the case as given in post 6 and age is going to bring them closer to you. The way you have described the situation, it also seems unlikely that you are feeling left out as given in post 7.

Any way you know your relationship with your siblings best and in my opinion, counseling can produced desired result giving them a feeling of responsibility and a sense of being great – making your achievement looking to them as their own achievement.

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scorpio37 | Student , Grade 9 | Salutatorian

Posted March 10, 2012 at 1:50 AM (Answer #9)

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U yet lucky...
my siblings r way younger n guess wht -- wayy mre annoying
my advice let 'em b m n u b u
eventually u guyz will b f9!

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e-martin | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted March 10, 2012 at 4:24 AM (Answer #10)

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Idea 1: Instead of asking them to let you in to their thing, maybe you can invite them into yours.

Idea 2: Try to reduce the importance of the interactions you have with your brothers in your own mind. This isn't to say that your relationship with them will be less important, but each separate interaction can be less important and less frustrating.

 

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wanderista | Student , Grade 11 | Valedictorian

Posted March 10, 2012 at 6:04 AM (Answer #11)

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Ah, I see what you mean! It's extremely common to see siblings argue and fight, and in the case of three or more siblings, it's common to see siblings to 'team up' together for a long time.

Ask your parents to get involved if it is really starting to bug you. Explain your feelings to them, and make sure you are very serious and direct with what you are saying. Communication between parents are children is essential, in my opinion for a healthy family.

I'd also recommend talking to your siblings directly. Speak directly, get to the point and try not to yell or get frustrated. If this fails, hopefully your parents get involved and sort things out. In the mean time, when they bug you, do not show response, instead ignore them and they'll get bored.

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najm1947 | Elementary School Teacher | Valedictorian

Posted March 10, 2012 at 11:07 AM (Answer #12)

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I agree with post 9.

Ignoring them will be really difficult and needs lot of patience, but it works associated with not showing your anguish - no yelling & staying calm is the key.

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