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Should I tell my parents that I'm bisexual?Should I tell my parents that I'm bisexual?

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sarahgorman123 | Student, Undergraduate | eNotes Newbie

Posted October 19, 2010 at 12:11 AM via web

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Should I tell my parents that I'm bisexual?

Should I tell my parents that I'm bisexual?

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Ashley Kannan | Middle School Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted October 19, 2010 at 1:04 AM (Answer #2)

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This is a question that might be better answered outside the realm of enotes.  I think that our forum here is limited to the academic queries or ideas and this is a question that strikes at the very heart of what it means to be "personal."  If you could seek the counsel of a family friend or close adviser, or someone with whom there has been a long history of trust and good advice, this might be a better answer to pursue.  Yet, I think that at some point, your parents will have to know about who you are and what is there within you.  Conceivably, you don't have to tell them, but since sexual identity is a large part of our own identity and has massive implications for our future, to deny this from our parents indicates some level of inauthenticity regarding ourselves or our parents.  I think that you would want to share this part of your life with them if you are comfortable with it.  Coming out to anyone is a huge deal but it is one that is entirely based on the comfort of the individual.  If you do not feel comfortable with it, then I don't think you need to do it.  It should be your moment, your decision, because it is your life.  Once this is undertaken, I believe that you will find your own answer to it.  I can only wish you nothing but the best in such an endeavor.

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krishna-agrawala | College Teacher | Valedictorian

Posted October 19, 2010 at 2:05 AM (Answer #3)

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As I see you are a student studying in 12th grade. For a person in your situation, parents in general are a great source of support, particularly in matters involving tricky problems.

Frankly speaking, I do not think that being a bisexual - that is being attracted to both the sexes - is necessarily a big problem. But if you are facing any problem, or are just concerned about it, it is a good idea to seek help and advice from some trusted adults. Usually the first choice in such matters is talking to one of your parents. However, if there is someone else whom you trust and consider wise, you may consider talking to such person also. Such a person may be your elder sister or an aunt, or someone like that.

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besure77 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Senior Educator

Posted October 19, 2010 at 4:55 AM (Answer #4)

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There are a couple of different ways that a parent may react to this. They may surprise you and you may find out that they know you better than you think they do. They may be completely shocked but on the other hand it may be something that they were expecting. My advise to you would be to find someone that you can talk to about this and like the previous responder said, Enotes may not be the right place. One option may be to talk to your high school counselor. There are also many support groups that you could check into that deal specifically with teen sexuality.

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lrwilliams | College Teacher | (Level 3) Associate Educator

Posted October 22, 2010 at 1:50 PM (Answer #5)

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That is a question that you are going to have to answer for yourself. I will say that as a parent of three daughters I think I would want them to tell me if they were bisexual, at least I think I would.

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brettd | High School Teacher | (Level 2) Educator Emeritus

Posted October 23, 2010 at 12:11 PM (Answer #6)

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I would agree with poster #2 in the sense that there are probably other forums, both online and in your community that might be a better source of support and advice for you.  A person's sexuality--whatever its orientation-- is deeply personal, and your relationship with your parents, their attitudes on the subject, the community you live in, etc. are all things to consider.  I wish you nothing but happiness and acceptance in this life.

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ask996 | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Senior Educator

Posted October 24, 2010 at 9:43 AM (Answer #7)

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Only you can answer that question. As a parent, I would love my children regardless of their sexual orientation. However, you have to understand that most parents don't dream of their children being involved in or pursuing things that pose potential threats to their children's peace of mind, and there are still significant portions of society that judge based on sexual orientation. Good luck and God Bless.

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litteacher8 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Distinguished Educator

Posted July 27, 2011 at 3:14 PM (Answer #8)

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Whether or not you tell your parents you are bisexual depends on your relationship with them. I think it also depends on what your motives are for telling them. Do you feel like you want to lead an alternative lifestyle? Are you trying to tell them you are not like other kids? Parents might not be comfortable talking about their child's sex life. Consider that too.

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