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Please correct, add in words and shorten or change this sentence to create two complete...

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seerboldly | Student, Grade 10 | Salutatorian

Posted September 25, 2013 at 1:48 PM via web

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Please correct, add in words and shorten or change this sentence to create two complete sentences as appropriate. 

"The brothers warn us that the transgression of unnatural boundaries will lead to unnatural places where dolly the sheep is expressed detrimentally as the invention of aritifical intelligence in the matrix ultimately brings mankind to comple enslavement. "

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durbanville | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted September 25, 2013 at 2:21 PM (Answer #1)

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In considering the content of these sentences and the intention of the writer, it is important to ensure that emphasis is placed appropriately and personalizing the issue (using "us") should be avoided as it reduces the effect. This ensures that the reader is, in this case, sufficiently warned of the dangers of going beyond previously inconceivable limits and furthermore, what the implications are for mankind as a whole. Depending on whether your main focus is mankind's enslavement or the initial crossing of boundaries, the following are possible options:  

1.  Transgressing unnatural boundaries may lead to unnatural places and events as the brothers have warned. To her detriment, Dolly the Sheep will be expressed as nothing more than an invention of artificial intelligence which, in the scheme of things, will lead mankind to complete enslavement.  

2.  There is a danger that the complete enslavement of mankind may result from having cloned Dolly the Sheep who is expressed as nothing more than the invention of artificial intelligence. The brothers have warned that unnatural transgressions such as this can only lead to unnatural circumstances in the whole scheme of things.  

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durbanville | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted September 25, 2013 at 2:29 PM (Answer #2)

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Apologies for having omitted any reference to The Matrix in the previous answer. You could simply add, 

1. As revealed in The Matrix, transgressing unnatural boundaries...

and similarly with the second choice..

2. As exposed in The Matrix, there is a danger that the complete enslavement...

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