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How can I combine each of the following sets of propositions into a cumulative sentence...

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Raymond0513 | eNoter

Posted November 14, 2013 at 12:24 AM via web

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How can I combine each of the following sets of propositions into a cumulative sentence with only one independent clause? 

1.Robert's head was crammed full. It was full of math formulas. His stomach was  gurgling. He had not eaten breakfast. He walked to the room. The exam would be given there. He sat down at a desk. The desk was in the frort of the room. He waited for the exam to start. He was impatient.

2. Annette was brimming with confidence. She was dressed to kill. She strolled into the ballroom. The ballroom was full of executives. She stopped in the middle of the room. Everyone could see her. Everyone could hear her announcement. The announcement would stun everyone. 

3. Bill had purchased land at a good price. He was able to sell it. He was able to recover the money. He had lost the money. He had lost it earlier that year. He had lost it in a deal. The deal had ruined his partners. The deal had almost bankrupted him.

4. Monkey Island is famous and popular. The monkey island is surrounded by the Pacific Ocean. The monkey island has a variety of different monkeys. It's afternoon. It's summer. Anna is wearing sunglasses and a necklace. Anna has light-brown hair. Anna is 25 years old.

5. The monkey is named by Jin. The monkey is curious and furry and fearless. The monkey is free to go anywhere. The monkey opens her mouth fierecely. The monkey is looking for a peach. The monkey is standing on her arm.

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mwestwood | College Teacher | (Level 2) Distinguished Educator

Posted November 14, 2013 at 3:55 AM (Answer #1)

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The best way to combine all these simple sentences is to form several dependent clauses, clauses that have no meaning on their own, but act as part of the sentence, establishing a relationship to a noun in the independent clause as an adjective, or as an adverb in relationship to the predicate of the main clause. Participial phrases work to establish relationships with nouns or the predicate in the main clause while prepositional phrases also create relationships between nouns to other words in a sentence. 

Here, then, are the revisions of the five sets of sentences with the independent clause in boldface.

1. Although his stomach was gurgling from his not having eaten breakfast, Robert's mind was crammed full of math problems as he walked to the room in which the exam would be given, sitting down at a desk at the front of the room and waiting impatiently for the exam to start.

2. Brimming with confidence and dressed to kill, Annette strolled into the ballroom full of executives, stopping so that everyone could see her and hear the announcement that would stun her audience.

3. Having purchased the land at a good price, Bill was able to sell it, thus recovering money he had lost earlier that year in a deal that had ruined his partners and almost bankrupted him.

4. Surrounded by the Pacific Ocean, the famous and popular Monkey Island has a variety of monkeys that twenty-five-year-old Anna, who has light brown hair and wears sunglasses, watches in the summer afternoon.

5. One curious, furry, and friendly monkey named Jin, who is allowed to roam anywhere, stands on her arm and opens her mouth fiercely as he looks for the peach she is eating.

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Raymond0513 | eNoter

Posted November 14, 2013 at 4:21 AM (Reply #1)

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i appreciate that. but number 4 number 5 should be combine into one sentence, could u help me wiht that? thank you very much.

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mwestwood | College Teacher | (Level 2) Distinguished Educator

Posted November 15, 2013 at 7:12 AM (Answer #2)

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Okay. How is this?

On the famous and popular Monkey Island that is surrounded by the Pacific Ocean, one of the variety of monkeys who is curious, furry, friendly, and named Jin, stands on the arm of Anna, a spectator, [spectator is an appositive] as he opens her mouth fiercely and searches for the peach she is eating.

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