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Honoured gentlemen of the Court,
I am well aware that you see me as man or a Jew who is unscrupulous and loathsome who only seeks the misery of others. But sirs, a man’s hatred towards another does not arisen on its own, but it is rather driven from another. I am nothing more than an ordinary man striving to make a living like many others in a society who loathes and do not accept us Jews. You are and I am fully aware of the little rights and opportunities given to us jews in a Venetian society. After receiving this punishment, I am forced to abandon my own religion and Jewish brothers. Now that I reflect back upon the decisions made by the court, i believe that they were injustice and prejudice. Sirs, I would like to manifest to you the many struggles I faced from the Venetian Christians, for I am praying to be even marginally understood and have pitied upon for may this punishment be aroused and reconsidered.
Honoured Sirs, I have experienced a certain amount of intellectual sufferings which I do not deserve. I am incensed by Antonio’s frequent denunciations of me. Many times have Antonio cursed me, calling me a misbeliever, cut-throat dog and spat upon my Jewish gabardine and yet all I respond with was a shrug. I was forbearance from taking action. Physical abuse also followed as I have been kicked numerous times. Many years of abuse have triggered me into taking the actions that I have taken. It elicited me on bringing such conditions to the contract. When he failed to return the money, I desired my bond. Never in my life was I able to talk back, fight against my rights for no one agreed or supported me. When I finally had had a chance to payback a miner of the cruelties they shown me, I could not resist but take the offer and be vengeful. I am well aware than I am wrong, now that I reflect back. But Sirs, do not put all the blame on me. I wish that you see this story from all corners and do not judge by just viewing one. I would not have sought revenge or done hideous actions if I were treated proper and with kindness to start off with. I beg of you to take that into consideration for hatred and revenge do not arisen on their own.
Everyone is well aware of the stigma carried by us Jews, even though I do not recall any certain events that I have caused for this to happen. We Jews are harshly persecuted, denied without thought. We lived in a constant threat of violence but I’ve lived up with it and it has become something that I am use to. Even though it remains woebegone to me. However, I remain proud of being who I am, a Jew. I’ve been taught many things in life. I do not believe that I would be able to make it to where I am today without my Jewish brothers. Now that I am at a state of force conversion, I am considering several factors regarding it. Does forcing me to convert really save my soul? Will I be accepted by the whole? I have reflected and came to a conclusion that I will be nothing more than a betrayer to both clans. I will be abandoning my Jewish brothers whom I have been with all my life. Now they will see me nothing but a betrayer who have abandoned his own religion in order to live. I will not be accepted as an equal by Christians either as their view of me will remain as a man who converted to Christianity as he was forced. What would become of me then Sirs? Where would I fit in a society that has already outwitted me? At the least, keep me truthful to my own religion and thus let me continue practising till the day of my death.
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