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I need help writing a hook for my essay, the topic is "dont start something you arent...

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hannerz831 | Student, Grade 9 | eNotes Newbie

Posted August 15, 2011 at 7:44 AM via web

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I need help writing a hook for my essay, the topic is "dont start something you arent willing to finish" i wrote about joining a softball team.

i cant think of any interesting hooks for this essay, please help. For reference, here is my first paragraph:

Last year, I decided to join Napa's Kiwanis Softball League. I had never played on a softball team before, but I had played at home and with friends. I thought I would do fine on a team but, when I was put on a team I immediately noticed that most of the players were far more experienced then I was. Allot of these girls had been plating softball big fraction of their lives, where as I was just beginning. I struggled to keep up with the other girl's skill levels, but being on the team was much more difficult then I expected. At nearly every game, I would be put on the bench, and I mostly had to play in the outfield. I was also injured a few times during the season. I was so frustrated at some games and practices, that I really wanted to quit the team.

 

 

2 Answers | Add Yours

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schulzie | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator

Posted August 15, 2011 at 2:43 PM (Answer #1)

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Hook #1 --- quote "Casey At the Bat"

"Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville - mighty Casey has struck out" (by Ernest Lawrence Thayer)

I know how Casey felt.

Hook #2 : Exclamatory statement

Frustration!!  It is spelled S-O-F-T-B-A-L-L and I have lived it!

Hook #3: Unfinished story - need to give an ending somewhere in the essay

It is the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, and the score stands 3 to 2. My team is losing.  I am next at bat --- it is all up to me. As I approach the plate, I hear my teammates groan and then yell to hit it out of the park.  The pitch comes and..........

Hook #4: A question

I joined to play, never missed practice, and tried my best.  So, why was I sitting on the bench?

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mdteacher1 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Adjunct Educator

Posted August 15, 2011 at 8:56 AM (Answer #2)

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Keep in mind that a hook is like a "shock jock" on shock radio. You want to grab the reader's attention and make them want to look beyond the first sentence, if not, first few words of your writing.

With this in mind, think about the worse thing that could happen if you gave up and quit the team. What are some gripping cliches or sayings you've heard. Be creative and grab your reader's attention.

As a true teacher, I do not want to do your homework for you, but help you be creative. So, let me give you an example. I will start with a hook about popularity in school:

HOOK#1: You could lose your future possibilities for wealth, health, and true friendships by doing foolish things now to impress people who really do not like you.

Rest of paper migh say: Susan could not resist the possibility of becoming cool with the Ashley's and her friends. So she went ahead and stole the . . . From behind bars, Susan wept that she would never attend her senior prom, graduate with her classmates, or even ...

HOOK#2: Love is never true, unless accompanied by sacrifice.

Rest of paper might say: instead of answering the question, Tom new Mary needed the scholarship more. He gave the wrong answer, knowing Mary new the correct answer. When Mr. Phillips turned to Mary with the question. She excitedly answered correctly and secured a 4-year college scholarship to Harvard.....

HOOK#3: Parents hate everything about their children...

Rest of paper might say:  when their behavior includes self inflicted wounds to their person, future, and family. Of course, parents will always love their person and being of their child, but may hate their behavior....

Hope this helps you-- be creative, over the top, but appropriate for your topic and a school audience. Godspeed to you!

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