Homework Help

Need help with making my thesis statement sound more professional!  Now draft a 7-10...

user profile pic

mavig | Student, Grade 11 | Honors

Posted September 28, 2013 at 12:05 AM via web

dislike 1 like

Need help with making my thesis statement sound more professional! 

Now draft a 7-10 sentence paragraph that answers the question, “What is the thesis of this article?”

The paragraph’s topic sentence should answer the question (not repeat it.)  The supporting sentences should discuss why you think this is the article’s thesis.  A concluding idea might be whether the author does a good job convincing you of his/her main idea.

The internet has the power to expose personal and financial information to just about anyone. In everyday life, the computer is the biggest gimmick in today’s society, people tend to put out their personal or financial information such as credit card transactions, history of what goes on in your life, and plane reservations have been recorded on the internet. The author concludes there are different ways to lose your privacy, so be careful with the information you put out on social browsers. Anyone who has their hands on the internet is taking a risk on having their personal information out. 

1 Answer | Add Yours

user profile pic

StephanieRR | Student , Undergraduate | Valedictorian

Posted September 28, 2013 at 12:51 AM (Answer #1)

dislike 2 like

"In today's society, the computer is the biggest gimmick. The internet has the power to expose personal and financial data about anyone who uses it to keep track of such information. Credit card transactions, shared details about significant life events, and plane reservations are all recorded on the internet. The author concludes there are different ways to lose privacy, so people should carefully consider what information is appropriate to include on social media platforms or web browsers. Anyone with internet access is taking a risk by trusting sites with their personal information."

I hope this revision helps. If you have any questions about the changes I made, feel free to message me and I will be glad to discuss it further.

Join to answer this question

Join a community of thousands of dedicated teachers and students.

Join eNotes