9 Answers | Add Yours
i meant by, judging, sorry for spelling mistake
I have to say that it typically takes a very long time for the majority of girls to judge a guy based upon their personality. Given my daughter is in high school, I cannot remember the last time I heard one of her friends talking about a guy's personality. Instead, conversations normally begin with a comment about his looks. Looking back to college, life seemed to be the same there, but not as bad.
That being said, not all girls are like that (while many are). Some girls, who are not as superficial, will look at a guy for his personality (regardless of his age). Unfortunately, these girls are few and far between.
I suppose probably around the same time that we guys stop judging women by their looks. I have a really hard time with the idea that women are more hung up on looks than men are. So I'm not at all sure that the premise of this question is at fair in anyway because I am sure that men are at least as fixated on looks over character as women.
Well, as a male I suppose that I'm engaging in a little guesswork here, but I'd image that females start judging males by character when they start thinking about someone that they'd like to spend a lot of time (and possibly the rest of their lives) with.
I've always thought this was an area in which women were far ahead of men. Men don't judge women in the same way the women judge men, for whatever reason.
Judging people by appearance is a human trait, I think. I imagine that it has some sort of evolutionary origins related to choosing a suitable mate. It is certainly not the case, in my opinion, that women are more apt to judge a person by appearance than men. But I think there is a cultural element to it as well. Different cultures have different ideas about what is physically attractive, and for that matter, which personality traits are desirable.
I think, to some extent, people of all ages like to be attracted to a person in some way before they decide that they want to be with them. It's that initial attraction that opens it up for someone to get to know the person's personality. Now, I think that at a young age, some girls are more focused on what they think other girls think is attractive. As they get into college, they will be more focused on what attracts them personally, even if it's not what is conventionally considered attractive.
I really agree with post #7. In my experiences listening to the middle school students that I teach, it really is all about what their friends think! Many of the students are trying to figure out what their preferences really are, so they turn to their best friends for advice and support. I do have to say that all I heard about for the last month of school was "One Direction" (the new *it* boy band). The girls I teach were completely in love with them, pretty much unanimously.
Adolescent girls really do cling to 'societal norms' when it comes to figuring out what is attractive; they buy into whatever their friends and social group prefer.
When people first meet another person, they see their exterior first. (One could only wish to be able to see who they are on the inside.) Therefore, physical appearance is the first thing judged. Given that much of a young girls life revolves around how they are perceived by others, who they are dating is important as well (for many, not all). Unfortunately, it is not until later in life (normally) where physical attractiveness begins to drop down the list of importance regarding potential partners.
Outward appearances always carry a lot of weight in the choices that both sexes make in whom they want to be with in the dating game. As women and men mature, other aspects of a person do come into play: personality, grooming, etiquette. A person's perception of another person will always be influenced by first impressions. You do not have to be Zack Efron to catch a girl's attention. Your neatness, choice of clothing, hair style, complexion--these catch the opposite sexes' attention. Then, it is up to the boy/man to present himself with character, courtesy, and charisma.
How you look is always going to be a factor? But if you distinguish yourself as a good and caring person...not loud and offensive...not trying to get everyone's attention by not being yourself...you will go a long way toward getting the attention of the opposite sex.
Join to answer this question
Join a community of thousands of dedicated teachers and students.Join eNotes