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How has your experience of growing up influenced your views on bringing up children?How...

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pramugdha | Student, Undergraduate | (Level 2) eNoter

Posted April 11, 2012 at 10:46 PM via web

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How has your experience of growing up influenced your views on bringing up children?

How has your experience of growing up influenced your views on bringing up children?

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readerofbooks | College Teacher | (Level 2) Educator Emeritus

Posted April 10, 2012 at 10:43 AM (Answer #2)

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This is a great question. It is a truism that how you grew up profoundly affects your life as an adult. When it comes to raising children this fact holds true as well. Since this question is a personal one, let me share from my own life. 

I was lucky enough to grow up in a very loving home with lots of encouragement and support. My parents were lenient yet provided good boundaries. Within those boundaries, I had a lot of freedom. I would say that my parenting in pretty much the same. 

I give my son lots of freedom and support within boundaries. Furthermore, I would say that I am a lenient parent. 

In light of this, I would say that I am similar to my parent's philosophy of raising children.

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mizzwillie | Middle School Teacher | (Level 3) Educator

Posted April 10, 2012 at 12:39 PM (Answer #2)

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This question is more of a discussion question where you would get many answers.  That being true, here is mine.  As the 5th of 8 children, life was filled with loving, supportive parents but also with the chaos of that many children with the older ones helping raise the younger ones.  As I helped raise my youngest sister who had mental health issues and my younger brother who had physical handicaps, that experience helped me prepare for my own children in not being defined by their health issues but expected to help and participate to the best of their ability.  My parents gave me the freedom to make my own decisions within defined boundaries which I also gave to my own children.  However, I gave my children far more freedom to ask any question of me and get it answered. Because I grew up in a small, white town, I made sure that our children were exposed to far different cultures as much as we could do so which led my children into travel and marriages with people of other cultures.  My parents taught us to love our siblings, give back to the world and the people around us, and to remember that families support each other emotionally, all of which I also taught my own children.  My parents were married almost 60 years, and that stable base is reflected in my own marriage of more than 40 years, though we are far more open in discussing issues.  Those discussions helped my children in discussions with us and other important people in their lives. When all is considered,  I would say that I am fairly similar to my parents' philosophy of raising children with a few alterations.

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pohnpei397 | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted April 11, 2012 at 11:01 PM (Answer #3)

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My parents were not very communicative with us children.  They did not show us a great deal of affection, though we knew they loved us.  In most things, I have tried to emulate my parents.  However, in this respect, I have tried to learn from what I think were their mistakes.  Therefore, I try to be more affectionate with my kids and to talk to them more about all kinds of stuff than my parents did with me.

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lsumner | High School Teacher | (Level 2) Senior Educator

Posted April 11, 2012 at 11:11 PM (Answer #4)

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My parents were very affectionate when I was growing up. My parents were moderate disciplinarians. My mother was a bit over protective as a parent. I decided to not be over protective as a parent. I did show my children much affection while they were growing up, and I still shower them with love and affection as adults. When I was growing up, we shared the "I love you" phrase often. With my own children, I shared the "I love you" phrase and I still do. When I talk with my children on the phone, we always close with "I love you!" 

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mwestwood | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted April 12, 2012 at 2:01 AM (Answer #5)

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Being from the generation that believed in the line from the Bible, "Spare the rod and spoil the child," I have come to realize the profound truth of the importance of discipline.  Studies underscore this importance:  The best adjusted children come from homes that are strict, but loving.

However, there was a strictness of decorum, too, that prevented parents from communicating well with children.  As mentioned by another editor, many children did not truly know their parents. That is, they did not know much of what was in their hearts.  It is important to share some things of the heart with our children; while we should not worry them with our emotional or financial problems, children should be aware of some of the concerns and desires of their parents, for then they all can relate better to one another as a family.

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wannam | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Educator

Posted April 12, 2012 at 4:14 PM (Answer #6)

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I think everyone looks at their parents (or the people that raised them) and thinks there are things they will repeat and things they will not repeat with their own children.  I always thought I knew what those things were.  Then I had children of my own.  I find more and more that I repeat some of the things I said I would do the opposite of.  I think as we grow we realize what an important our upbringing has/had in developing the person we are.  I also think that as we have children of our own we gain a new respect and understanding of the way we were raised.  Often the things we might have disliked growing up had a very valid reason behind them.

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pramugdha | Student, Undergraduate | (Level 2) eNoter

Posted April 13, 2012 at 3:12 PM (Answer #7)

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I think everyone looks at their parents (or the people that raised them) and thinks there are things they will repeat and things they will not repeat with their own children.  I always thought I knew what those things were.  Then I had children of my own.  I find more and more that I repeat some of the things I said I would do the opposite of.  I think as we grow we realize what an important our upbringing has/had in developing the person we are.  I also think that as we have children of our own we gain a new respect and understanding of the way we were raised.  Often the things we might have disliked growing up had a very valid reason behind them.

 

I totally agree with what you said. I think I know what things I will repeat with my children and what I won't. (And I'm only 16!)

 

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