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How do you get your parents to actually listen to you?How do you get your parents to...

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twinklingsky31 | Student, Grade 9 | eNotes Newbie

Posted February 8, 2009 at 3:41 PM via web

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How do you get your parents to actually listen to you?

How do you get your parents to actually listen to you?

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lynn30k | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Associate Educator

Posted February 10, 2009 at 11:52 AM (Answer #2)

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What are you trying to accomplish? Are you trying to change something minor, or trying to do something that may be against what they believe in?

Usually the best way to get someone to listen is to stay calm, and to listen to them, as well. Yelling usually happens when one side or both is not really hearing what the other is saying. Have you considered writing down what you want to say? Sometimes seeing your words on paper helps you to see why your parents are getting upset.

There may be nothing you can do...if you are trying to get them to let you do something that is opposite of what they believe, it will be really difficult. I guess the main question is, how important is what you are trying to communicate? If it is something that you really believe in, and something important, you may need to have another adult help you out. Good luck  :)

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dbello | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator

Posted February 10, 2009 at 11:52 AM (Answer #3)

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Talk to them, not at them, beneath or above them. If you really want to connect with your parents in conversation you must be able to show them that you respect them as much as you respect yourself and the topic of your conversation. There is an old saying, ' it's not so much what you say as how you say it'. In the end ask yourself this question, were your parents not hearing you or were you not satisifed with their answer? This is an important dynamic with regard to interaction and understanding relationships between people, including parents.

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krishna-agrawala | College Teacher | Valedictorian

Posted May 24, 2009 at 8:13 AM (Answer #4)

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If by "making parents listen to you" you mean how to make parents accept your demand, the best way is to not to be too insistent.

I accept that parents may not always understand the feelings and needs of their children, but than more often children do not understand what is good for them. This is why parents are given the responsibility for their children. Parents are their to help and support their children. They do not like to spoil the fun of their children. Parents just try to do what they believe is good for their children.

There is one more point to consider, parents may not always be in a position to do what they may want to do for their children. Everyone including your parents have constraints of money, time, and health.

Of course, parents may some time may change their mind about giving what a child wants if they find that the child wants it too much. Children frequently convey this impression by being too insistent in their demand. This is acceptable to a limited extent. If overdone, it loses its important. The parents cannot accept all your demands, and they cannot make out which ones matter most to you.

If your question is just about make your parents understand what you want to explain. The rules are not different for parents. It is always difficult your point of view to someone who is in a very different situation from that of yours - and on many matters situations of parents and children are very different. I can't give you much guidance here. But just remember this, I you have difficulty explaining yourself to your parents, they are probably having equal difficulty in explaining themselves to you. If  you remember this and make efforts to understand your parents, chances are that you will also have greater success in making yourself understood.

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litteacher8 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Distinguished Educator

Posted June 27, 2011 at 9:18 AM (Answer #5)

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The best way to get your parents to listen to you is to listen to them. Remember that communication goes both ways. Communication is also cumulative. Do not just talk to each other about big things. Stay involved in one another's lives, and talk about day to day things as well as big things. When it comes to discussing big things, remember to openly share your feelings and concerns and also listen to theirs. If something is going to be difficult to say, rehearse it before you have the talk.
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megan-bright | (Level 1) Associate Educator

Posted October 6, 2011 at 5:33 AM (Answer #6)

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Be respectful and obedient towards your parents. If you have a disagreement with them, you should remain humble, respectful, and listen to what they are telling you. Normally they are telling you something for your benefit. I do believe that if you respect your parents, they would often be glad to listen to you. If the lines of communication are conflicted, perhaps go out to eat, go to a park, or just go to some relaxing place and gently bring up your concerns. If that doesn't work, I would suggest writing a letter to them to let them know what is on your mind.

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