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How can I build a stronger relationship with my mum?How can I build a stronger...

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amne | Student, Undergraduate | Salutatorian

Posted May 30, 2012 at 5:08 PM via web

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How can I build a stronger relationship with my mum?

How can I build a stronger relationship with my mum?

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francy17 | Student, Grade 11 | Salutatorian

Posted May 29, 2012 at 7:10 PM (Answer #2)

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This is something many struggle with. I am still in the process of trying to figure it out myself. However, I can give you some tips based on my own experiences...

1. Never lie

      - Even if the truth will hurt it's best to tell the truth about what happened, the whole truth. Your mom might be disappointed but the fact that you told the truth usually doesn’t skip her notice. By doing this you build trust, which is a great foundation to start on.

2. Introduce your friends to her

     - This is difficult for many, even me. Especially when your parents are critical about the type of people you like to associate with. But it really does help put your mom at ease if she knows who u r with when you walk out the door. And again trust is being built because she'll more likely believe you when you say I'm going out with whoever.

3. Make her apart of your life

   - It’s always a great feeling when you have a really good friend who shares their secrets with u. Mothers more than anyone want that kind of relationship with their kids. Maybe share something like a guy you like at school or your secret obsessions or if you just have a question about something in life that you need help understanding.

4. Be respectful at all cost!

   - After a certain age it’s hard to comply with other people’s wishes simply because we are gaining individuality and independence. We are becoming our own person and developing our own line of thinking. It’s at this time when we’ll most likely butt heads most with our parents. If you really won’t stand for being a doctor – for example- wait till both of you are calm before you break the news to your parent(s). Hold you tongue and listen intently to their concerns, and then share yours. If you are respectful you will gain respect in return.


These are just some of things that can help you bulid a good relationship with ur mother. Hope this helped :D

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litteacher8 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Distinguished Educator

Posted May 30, 2012 at 9:14 PM (Answer #3)

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The best way to make the relationship with your mother better is to spend time together alone.  If you spend a great deal of time out doing something, such as on a trip or even a day trip, you will see each other in different circumstances.  Then you can get to see each other as real people.  Also, the more time you spend together the more time you’ll talk, and talking builds relationships.  You will learn more about each other and get to appreciate one another.

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literaturenerd | High School Teacher | (Level 2) Educator Emeritus

Posted May 31, 2012 at 12:23 AM (Answer #4)

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I would suggest spending time with her. A person cannot know who another person is unless they spend time with them. I would also suggest complete honesty. Great relationships are based upon honesty.

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rrteacher | College Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted May 31, 2012 at 6:13 AM (Answer #5)

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Honesty, communication, and finding shared interests are key. As a parent, nothing gratifies me more than knowing that my kids want to spend time with me, and I want nothing more than for them to feel that they can be honest with me whatever the subject.

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amne | Student, Undergraduate | Salutatorian

Posted May 31, 2012 at 8:22 AM (Answer #6)

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This is something many struggle with. I am still in the process of trying to figure it out myself. However, I can give you some tips based on my own experiences...

1. Never lie

      - Even if the truth will hurt it's best to tell the truth about what happened, the whole truth. Your mom might be disappointed but the fact that you told the truth usually doesn’t skip her notice. By doing this you build trust, which is a great foundation to start on.

2. Introduce your friends to her

     - This is difficult for many, even me. Especially when your parents are critical about the type of people you like to associate with. But it really does help put your mom at ease if she knows who u r with when you walk out the door. And again trust is being built because she'll more likely believe you when you say I'm going out with whoever.

3. Make her apart of your life

   - It’s always a great feeling when you have a really good friend who shares their secrets with u. Mothers more than anyone want that kind of relationship with their kids. Maybe share something like a guy you like at school or your secret obsessions or if you just have a question about something in life that you need help understanding.

4. Be respectful at all cost!

   - After a certain age it’s hard to comply with other people’s wishes simply because we are gaining individuality and independence. We are becoming our own person and developing our own line of thinking. It’s at this time when we’ll most likely butt heads most with our parents. If you really won’t stand for being a doctor – for example- wait till both of you are calm before you break the news to your parent(s). Hold you tongue and listen intently to their concerns, and then share yours. If you are respectful you will gain respect in return.


These are just some of things that can help you bulid a good relationship with ur mother. Hope this helped :D

Francy17 you are so right but my mum already knows all my friends yet she still doubts them all!! Sometimes she gets angry at me and I go to school in such a strop! I'm doing my GCSE exams now as I'm in Year 11, there are days when she doesnt wish me luck and I just break down!!

I hope when I finish school in 3 weeks that I'd be able to bond with her...

Thanks fopr your points though :D

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Kristen Lentz | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted May 31, 2012 at 10:28 AM (Answer #7)

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The best way to build a relationship with someone is to give them part of your life and take interest in theirs.  If you truly care about someone and take the time to work on the relationship with them, it will grow.  Look for some common interest you can share, but simply eating meals together and talking will help.  Time together will make any relationship blossom if your heart is in the right place.

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wannam | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Educator

Posted May 31, 2012 at 1:37 PM (Answer #8)

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I would say the best way to build any relationship is through communication. Spend time with her and talk to her. Try to find things the two if you have in common. Find things you can share. Once you start really communicating, you will start to know what things she needs from the relationship and she will know what you need. Communication is the first step and the key to a healthy relationship. 

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catd1115 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 3) Assistant Educator

Posted June 1, 2012 at 9:48 AM (Answer #9)

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First, it is so admirable that you want to improve your relationship with your mother. Second, it may be a long road. My experience is more with my father, but here is what has worked for me: you have to learn to really listen, see things from the other person's perspective, and try to see the intentions behind the words. You also have to be patient with your differences and not try to make her what you want her to be rather than what she is. Keep your temper at all costs. Be the one who makes the effort and she will respond. You have to try to communicate with her in a way that makes sense to her and always try to see from her point of view. You may not always agree with her, but being able to see her point of view will often allow you to overlook things that may have otherwise made you angry and unable to communicate. You have to work to have a relationship with the person she is, not the person you would like her to be. I'm sure it will be worth it. Best of luck!

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larareneepaterson | Student, Grade 10 | eNoter

Posted June 5, 2012 at 4:33 PM (Answer #10)

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the key thing is honesty. honesty is so important because it lays the foundations for a really solid relationship! do things, also, like sending nice texts, making her tea or whatever and just showing some physical affection too. that always helps. :)

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