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I need help rewording this sentence: If you had to confess to committing a harsh crime;...

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do3do31994 | Student, Undergraduate | eNotes Newbie

Posted September 27, 2011 at 1:33 AM via web

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I need help rewording this sentence: If you had to confess to committing a harsh crime; even though you didn’t do it, would you?

As you can see, the sentence is very confusing. This is the first sentence in my essay about The Crucible. I am talking about how the citizens in Salem didn't do those crimes that they were accused of (witch craft), but if they denied it, they'd be sent to prison, and if they confess it (even though they're innocent) they'd be freed. I just need a little help with rewording this sentence because it is a bit confusing. If you had to confess to committing a harsh crime; even though you didn’t do it, would you?

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playsthething | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Assistant Educator

Posted September 27, 2011 at 1:57 AM (Answer #1)

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First of all, make sure it's okay with your teacher to be using "you" in your essay.  Many teachers want you to stay in the strict third person, although some will allow you as a "hook" in your introduction.

You are right - as it stands, the question is confusing.  It's a bit convoluted in getting to the point.  Start with what needs to be established first, the innocence of the person.  Then, ask the question.  Even if you were innocent, would you confess to having committed a terrible crime in order to avoid imprisonment?

You might even be more broad in your question.  For example: Would you lie to save yourself?

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