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What a fun question! Okay, how about this?
It is with grave misgivings that Ares, god of war, invites you and a guest to attend the sure-to-be doomed union of his daughter Hippolyta, princess of the Amazons, with Theseus, son of Aegeus and Aethra.
Much to the chagrin of her father, the wedding will take place in Athena's favorite city, Athens, in the garden of Aphrodite, at the foot of the Acropolis.
In lieu of a reception, the couple will fight side by side against an Amazon army that is currently occupying my hill, the Areopagus, opposite the Acropolis. Wedding guests may feel free to fight alongside the army of their choice.
Theseus joined Hercules in his expedition against the Amazons and carried off Antiope, or, as some say, Melanippe; but Simonides calls her Hippolyte. Wherefore the Amazons marched against Athens, and having taken up a position about the Areopagus they were vanquished by the Athenians under Theseus. (pseudo-Apollodorus, Epitome 1.16; translation by J. G. Frazer)
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