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Does my thesis answer the question; should I erase this phrase?  Prompt: Describe...

lacevern's profile pic

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Does my thesis answer the question; should I erase this phrase? 

Prompt: Describe the impact on transforming European society.

Because of the development of the printing press created by Johannes Gutenburg, there was no need to rely on the old man's memory and the monk's hand-copied calligraphies . The Churches also took advantage of this newly invented artifice; with the printing press, more indulgences could be created. The printing press was contributive to the European society and the Churches, thus making it more advanced and more modernized.

The phrase in bold is what I am referring to. I'm not sure if this part is necessary or even relevant to what the prompt is asking for. Thanks so much!

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tjbrewer's profile pic

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I think that your thesis is made more coherent by including the phrase, as it stakes your opinion of the impact that the Printing Press had on the Church and European Civilization.  Most historians tend to point out that the Printing Press led to the availability of the Scriptures in vernacular languages in such great numbers that it effectively triggered the Protestant Reformation. 

The prompt itself seems a bit awkward with an unnecessary preposition and doesn't really say what you're supposed to be describing the impact of, but your thesis does say, and it says it very well.  I would recommend you keep your thesis as it is, and find information backing it. 

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