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Could you please correct/review my editorial commentary/expository speech?   When it...

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sunnycrocket | Student | (Level 1) eNoter

Posted July 15, 2013 at 4:13 AM via web

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Could you please correct/review my editorial commentary/expository speech?

 

When it comes to majority of penalties, people complain how the punishment is not strong enough for what criminals’ have committed. Recently, there is a case for a guy who had to go through an exaggerated and harsh punishment for something we commonly see on websites. Sighting offensive comments on online seems very ordinary nowadays. These offensive comments usually are created when two or more people start to quarrel. A comment aiming to offend someone intrigues a lot of people’s attention, but does not usually get reported. Also, even if the comments get reported, they are frequently ignored. However, a case about a guy named Justin Carter has placed himself in a slightly difference consequent. Justin Carter who is now 19 years old had spent five months in prison for posting a sarcastic comment that was later reported as ‘threatening terrorism’. On February 14th, Carter and a friend were arguing on Facebook with someone else over the online video game. According to court documents, Justin was exasperated when the guy called Justin crazy. Justin Carter responded with sarcasm by saying he will shoot up a kindergarten and watch the blood of the innocent rain down and eat the beating heart of one of them. Justin later followed the claim with “LOL” and “J/k” which indicates that the comment was not serious. However, someone reported the comment which came about two months after the mass killings at Sandy Hook Elementary school which resulted in Carter’s arrest for making terroristic threats. Justin faced 8 years of jail and his bail was set to $500,000. The teen remained in jail because his parents, Jack Carter and Jennifer could not afford to post the bond required to free their son. Justin’s attorney, Don Flanary stated that Carter had suffered a physical abuse while behind bars as well as a physiological abuse. In addition, Justin was on watch of suicidal attempt. Moreover, there was a petition made by Justin’s father fighting for his son’s release and it gained over 125,000 signatures in less than two weeks; T-shirts were also made to free Justin. Despite a number of people who supported Justin’s release, there were some people going against this. They said, citizens were all shocked by what happened to the victims of Sandy Hook elementary school, and Justin posting a comment that exactly resembles the shooting incident was a very insensitive act he committed. In addition, because laws do not accept mistakes and regulate the punishment on whether the person did it on mistake or on intentionally, Justin deserves the penalty. “He may have just been kidding, but look back at all those other school shooters who made similar threats. Afterwards people were constantly asking “Why did no one see this coming and do something to prevent it”. Well it looks like people have been taking note and are no longer turning a blind eye to such threats, even when they are meant as humor” said one of the person against Justin’s release petition. He also referred to a book named “The Gift of Fear” which lists violent humor that resulted in a tragedy.   Whether or not Justin intended to carry out his threat to harm children, it is still a freighting comment. However, teenagers tend to speak their minds without considering the consequences. Justin did not just end with the comment saying he will shoot up a kindergarten. He later pointed out he was just joking. Also, the video game which is the origin of the whole incident is considered a place where a lot of arguments occur between game players. 8 years of imprisonment and $500,000 for bail is exaggerated for a guy who commented with sarcasm out of a sudden rage. Justin would be out at age 27 with no job skills, education, with no one but bad actors to be peers. Fortunately, on July 12th, Justin was released from prison after an anonymous donor posted a $500,000 bail bond.  After Justin’s release, Justin said “I just want to make it clear that people should be very, very careful of what they say and it’s being recorded all the time if your say it on any website anywhere and you can get in trouble for something that’s not something you should get in trouble for. And I just want people to be warned” It is very fortunate that Justin learned a valuable lesson and is released from the jail. However, if he actually had to serve full 8 years of imprisonment, he would be a very different person when he gets liberated, because he would have spent years with criminals who had probably committed something horrible than what Justin did. Justin’s father is currently holding a campaign to stop teens from commenting without thinking further ahead. Yet, the main point people should focus is the harsh and exaggerated punishment that was given to a guy with immaturity and that the law should consider regulating the penalty if the threat was a joke. 

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surfpoetess | High School Teacher | (Level 2) Adjunct Educator

Posted July 15, 2013 at 2:55 PM (Answer #1)

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Overwhelmingly, people advocate that punishment should fit the crime. However, this idea can be taken to the extreme, with exaggerated and harsh punishments being administered for common behaviors. A commonplace practice, writing offensive comments online, has become the recent target of extreme justice.

 

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surfpoetess | High School Teacher | (Level 2) Adjunct Educator

Posted July 15, 2013 at 2:56 PM (Answer #2)

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Often the result of a quarrel, a comment aiming to offend someone attracts a lot of people’s attention but does not usually get reported. Even if the comment gets reported, it is frequently ignored by cite administrators. However, a recent case concerning Justin Carter deserves our attention. Nineteen-year-old Justin Carter spent five months in prison for posting a sarcastic comment that was later reported as "threatening terrorism." On February 14, Carter and a friend were arguing on Facebook with someone else over an online video game. According to court documents, Justin was exasperated when the guy called Justin "crazy." Carter responded with sarcasm by saying he would "shoot up a kindergarten and watch the blood of the innocent rain down and eat the beating heart of one of them." Justin later followed the claim with “LOL” and “J/k” which indicates that the comment was not serious. However, someone reported the comment which came about two months after the mass killings at Sandy Hook Elementary school which resulted in Carter’s arrest for making terroristic threats. Justin faced eight years of jail and his bail was set to $500,000. The teen remained in jail because his parents, Jack Carter and Jennifer could not afford to post the bond required to free their son. Justin’s attorney, Don Flanary stated that Carter suffered a physical abuse while behind bars as well as a physiological abuse. In addition, Justin was on suicide watch. Moreover, there was a petition made by Justin’s father fighting for his son’s release, and it gained over 125,000 signatures in less than two weeks; t-shirts were also made to free Justin. Despite a number of people who supported Justin’s release, there were some people going against this. They said explained that citizens were all shocked by what happened to the victims of Sandy Hook Elementary School, and Justin's post was a very insensitive act. In addition, because the laws do not accept mistakes and regulate the punishment on whether the person did it by mistake or intention, Justin deserves the penalty.

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surfpoetess | High School Teacher | (Level 2) Adjunct Educator

Posted July 15, 2013 at 2:56 PM (Answer #3)

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“He may have just been kidding, but look back at all those other school shooters who made similar threats. Afterwards people were constantly asking 'Why did no one see this coming and do something to prevent it?' Well it looks like people have been taking note and are no longer turning a blind eye to such threats, even when they are meant as humor,” said one of the person against Justin’s release petition. He also referred to a book named “The Gift of Fear” which lists violent humor that resulted in a tragedy.

Whether or not Justin intended to carry out his threat to harm children, it is still a frightening comment. However, teenagers tend to speak their minds without considering the consequences. Justin did not just end with the comment saying he will shoot up a kindergarten. He later pointed out that he was just joking. Also, the video game which is the origin of the whole incident is considered a place where a lot of arguments occur between game players. Eight years of imprisonment and $500,000 for bail is exaggerated for a guy who commented with sarcasm out of a sudden rage. If Justin gets a full sentence, he will be out at age twenty-seven with no job skills, education, or positive peers. On July 12, Justin was released from prison after an anonymous donor posted a $500,000 bail bond. After his release, Justin said, “I just want to make it clear that people should be very, very careful of what they say and it’s being recorded all the time if your say it on any website anywhere and you can get in trouble for something that’s not something you should get in trouble for. And I just want people to be warned.” It is very fortunate that Justin learned a valuable lesson and is out of jail while he awaits trial. However, if he actually has to serve a full eight years of imprisonment, he will be a very different person when he gets liberated, because he will have spent years with criminals who committed crimes much more horrible than what Justin did. Justin’s father is currently holding a campaign to stop teens from commenting without thinking ahead. Yet, the main point people should focus on is the harsh and exaggerated punishment impending for an immature guy who did not comprehend the seriousness of his actions.

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surfpoetess | High School Teacher | (Level 2) Adjunct Educator

Posted July 15, 2013 at 2:58 PM (Answer #4)

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* Double-check your facts on this. Remember that a bail bond allows a person to be released from jail while they await TRIAL. I do not think this young man has actually had his trial yet. He may still have to serve time. Please check this. I altered your speech to reflect this information.

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