Homework Help

Can you please provide suggestions on how I can improve my writing and correct any...

user profile pic

rainbow224 | Student, Grade 10 | Valedictorian

Posted September 2, 2013 at 8:06 AM via web

dislike 2 like

Can you please provide suggestions on how I can improve my writing and correct any grammatical errors if noted? 

Executive Summary:

Type 2 Diabetes has been likened to an epidemic, making it one of the most significant public challenges and concerns to all nations including Australia. In spite of this, type 2 diabetes can be reduced significantly

1 Answer | Add Yours

user profile pic

durbanville | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted September 2, 2013 at 8:32 AM (Answer #1)

dislike 2 like

Sentence structure, vocabulary, grammar and punctuation are all important language skills. To improve vocabulary, think of synonyms and antonyms for words you are familiar with and try and use them in your writing where appropriate instead of some of the common, overused words. Reading is a good way to improve your own writing style as you read and understand other works and which ones you prefer. 

To make this passage "read " better whilst keeping with your wording and focus, you could try making small, relevant alterations: 

The following report examines the issues of Type 2 Diabetes by outlining its main causes and impacts on individuals, and diagnosis (of this diabetes and) will conclude by recommending strategies on how to decrease the number of people affected by this disease. 

Start the next sentence in a new paragraph and consider the following corrections:

Recommendations include introducing policies to school canteens to provide healthier options to students and creating an encouraging and supportive environment in school for ALL students (to be fit.) A fitter, healthier profile will then emerge.


Should this be the end of your "report" then consider splitting the paragraph sooner - before "The following report examines..."

Sources:

Join to answer this question

Join a community of thousands of dedicated teachers and students.

Join eNotes