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Arranged Marriages Are Right or wrongI think arranged marraiges are very pathetic it is...

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nhl123 | Student, Grade 11 | Valedictorian

Posted March 21, 2012 at 8:51 AM via web

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Arranged Marriages Are Right or wrong

I think arranged marraiges are very pathetic it is one of the worst things a family can do for their children? My school has a few  Asian children who know their fate will be an arranged marriage!!I think its not right cause ushally the man is like 15 + years older than the female and it just seems wrong!! What do you guys think??

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pohnpei397 | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted March 21, 2012 at 9:16 AM (Answer #2)

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I think this is one of those instances where it's okay to be different in different cultures.  I agree that it's pretty tough if you're growing up in a Western country and all your friends are planning to find their own mates and you have an arranged marriage.  But I don't think it's a moral issue or one where only one way can possibly be right.  There are plenty of non-arranged marriages that are really bad ideas and that totally don't work out. 

I'd never arrange my kids' marriages, but I'm from a Western culture.  I don't think it's wrong for people from a different culture to have different ways when it comes to marriage.

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bullgatortail | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Distinguished Educator

Posted March 21, 2012 at 11:00 AM (Answer #3)

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I don't believe you can term arranged marriages as simply right or wrong. Many cultures consider arranged marriages a proper way of coupling a man and woman, and it used to be quite common in the United States and Great Britain as well. Royalty often used arranged marriages to consolidate feuding nations and keep wealth in the family's hands. It certainly goes against the common belief that love should be the primary factor in marriage, but considering the high rate of divorce in the U.S., arranged marriages should not be discounted entirely.

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litteacher8 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Distinguished Educator

Posted March 21, 2012 at 12:13 PM (Answer #4)

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Although the children in your school might have mates chosen for them already by their parents, they still have the choice to marry or not. In the modern world, parents cannot force thier children to marry a certain person. Parents can express disapproval, and possibly even disown children who don't marry the person they want, but in most cases they cannot actually force the marriage. To play the devil's advocate, some people in arranged marriages actually are happy. Marriage, and relationships, can be complicated. While it is best for a person to choose his or her own mate, it doesn't mean the one chosen for him or her will not be a good one. That doesn't make it morally acceptable to most people, of course.
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lmetcalf | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Senior Educator

Posted March 21, 2012 at 12:39 PM (Answer #5)

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As others have noted above, the "problem" of an arranged marriage is only a problem from the perspective of someone who doesn't live in that culture. In the Western world, we don't arrange marriages, but other cultures do, and have done for centuries -- with great success! There is no magic in either type of marriage, but having a common, cultural ground shared by both people is an essential element. There are good and bad marriages in every culture.

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rrteacher | College Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted March 21, 2012 at 2:37 PM (Answer #6)

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I can only agree with the previous posters, marriage is after all a cultural institution, and different cultures have different mores regarding it, and even different ideas of what marriage actually is. It may seem odd to people from the West, but it has been the norm for centuries in many societies. It wasn't all that uncommon in the West, for that matter, even within the last 100 years. In fact, it's hard to argue that people in the West really have 100% freedom to marry who they'd like. Even setting aside the issue of same-sex marriage, cultural expectations in the West often include parental permission.

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accessteacher | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted March 21, 2012 at 5:11 PM (Answer #7)

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You need to be aware that arranged marriages have "worked" for many centuries in many different cultures. I have friends who have been married in this way, and in some senses they are happier than other people who marry for love. You also might like to observe that divorce rates are lower in arranged marriages than they are for love marriages.

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wanderista | Student , Grade 11 | Valedictorian

Posted March 21, 2012 at 7:11 PM (Answer #8)

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I don't like the idea of arranged marraige. It seems to take away the freedom and individuality each person haves. It also is extremely risky, as the husband and bride to be might completely dislike each other, resulting in much conflict and anger. I believe if one wants to get married, they should marry on their own terms and by their own beliefs.

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readerofbooks | College Teacher | (Level 2) Educator Emeritus

Posted March 21, 2012 at 11:38 PM (Answer #9)

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If you look at divorce rates, arranged marriages might not be a bad option. To have others, who know and love you to choose might be a wise thing. From our point of view, it is distasteful, to be sure. However, it deserves consideration. We might not be the best judges of what we need. When we put it this way, it is humble posture, which can be fruitful.

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stolperia | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted March 22, 2012 at 3:48 AM (Answer #10)

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Cultural beliefs can not be judged as being right or wrong by persons from outside of that culture. The practices and ways of living and doing things that have developed within each culture have been shaped and influenced by time and events that have impacted that group of people and their shared experience in ways that outsiders will not understand or appreciate. While cultures change and adapt in response to changing conditions in the surrounding world, we have no right to pass judgement on something when we don't comprehend or appreciate all the background reasons for its existence.

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speamerfam | College Teacher | (Level 2) Senior Educator

Posted March 22, 2012 at 4:13 AM (Answer #11)

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It is my understanding that arranged marriages are often far more successful than those in which people choose one another.  Cultures with arranged marriages have far lower divorce rates and rate higher in other measures of success as well.  Being in a Western culture, it is difficult for me to imagine this, but I have spoken extensively to many people in arranged marriages, and it's remarkable how much satisfaction there is.  For one thing, in Western cultures where one's partner is freely chosen, we tend to have very high and unreasonable expectations of marriage, expectations that could not possibly be met by any partner.  For another, our culture does not any longer reinforce the idea that people should stay together and work out their differences.  In cultures with arranged marriages, the entire culture and community reinforce that idea.  Generally, I don't think there is anything inherently right or wrong either way, simply what we are accustomed to. 

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bhawanipur | College Teacher | Valedictorian

Posted March 22, 2012 at 10:27 AM (Answer #12)

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I have gone through all the other posts and seen that almost all points have been discussed nicely. Actually, there is nothing wrong or right in arranged marriage. My marriage was an arranged and married about 25 years ago. In our country, arranged marriage is a culture and I see about 85% people happy with their marriage. Whereas there are many instances that love marriages have met very pathetic ending. Some people love someone out of temporary emotion and then marry. When they start living together, they confront various problems and realize that they did wrong. In arranged marriages, there is no half brother or half sister. For a few days, I have been to Yahoo answers and there is a category of questions where I found that teenagers are in love and relationship. But they all have suspicions about their counterpart. They suspect each other and leave after a period. Chilren are in depression because either their mother or father has married once again to someone. In arranged marriage people learn to compromise and at later stage they feel happy. They work together for each other and espicially for children.

However, it does mean that love marriages are all flop show. Out of them some are leading happy life but here also question comes of compromise.

Finally its the question of compromise and tolerance to each other's nature and love for children they beget which make a marrige happy ending.

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suvetha | Student , Undergraduate | Valedictorian

Posted March 22, 2012 at 9:00 PM (Answer #13)

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Would you ever consider getting married to a person you never meet or just seen
once? Most probably no, but this happens to many young males and females throughout
India and other countries. Arranged marriages are now and have been heated debate in
certain cultures. Arranged marriages have many young boys and girls to destroy their
lives, but to others it is considered the most reliable way to find a life partner. Even
though today’s Western society believes in love marriages, parents in many cultures
disapprove of love marriages for their children. It’s very difficult to judge whether
arranged marriages are good or bad since they have both positive and negative effects.
An arranged marriage is when parents, or eldest male in the family, chooses a
partner for a young boy or girl. In some situations an aunt, family friend or relative finds
a partner for the child. Arranged marriages are practiced all over the world, mainly in
Hindu and Sikh cultures. It does not matter how westernized India or other countries may
have become, arranged marriages are still practiced. Arranged marriage is basically an
agreement between two families rather than two young people.

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loraaa | Student | Valedictorian

Posted March 28, 2012 at 8:39 AM (Answer #14)

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I do not think that arranged marriages are wrong, but it is also not true entirely.
 Arranged marriages, sometimes useful for the family, And maintain the cohesion of family.

 

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vishnuip | Student , Undergraduate | Honors

Posted March 31, 2012 at 1:46 PM (Answer #15)

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I think arranged marrages are good. Even though it is not a thing that held between two strangers but it must be done only after knowing the two pupils each other. I also supports for the arranged love marrages why because it helps the partners to live comfortabily and also they will get support and love from their parents also it will help them in any situations. 

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wdl315 | Student , Grade 9 | eNoter

Posted April 26, 2012 at 7:53 AM (Answer #16)

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In my opinion, arranged marriages are morally wrong. People should at least have the freedom to choose who they are to live with for the rest of their lives. Forcing them to marry someone they dislike may result in disaterous concequences, for example, their spouse might be driven insane or be abused physically or sexually.

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baby14geli14 | Student , Undergraduate | eNoter

Posted May 4, 2012 at 5:32 AM (Answer #17)

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It's WRONG. We're the ones who should choose whom we like or not. What's the purpose of getting married if you don't like the person? Duh! =P

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naari | Student , Undergraduate | eNoter

Posted May 13, 2012 at 9:02 PM (Answer #19)

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I am not against arrange   marriage at all. My parents are a perfect example of a happily married (arrange) couple . There is nothing wrong in it , one just need to keep it in mind that whatever our parents will do will be good for us. 

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