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How do I change the following sentences to showing sentences instead of telling...

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rhee1399 | (Level 3) eNoter

Posted October 7, 2012 at 6:28 PM via web

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How do I change the following sentences to showing sentences instead of telling sentences?


1.The athletes think they are cool.  

2. Mother Nature absorbed us.

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missy575 | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted October 7, 2012 at 7:21 PM (Answer #1)

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In order to change these two sentences to showing sentences, a teacher is asking the student to reveal the thought through details, rather than just telling the message of the sentence. These details could be created through sensory details, images, or well-chosen adjectives. 

Here are examples of how to re-write the sentences:

1. Gathered in a huddle in the hallway, the football players dressed in jeans and jerseys puffed their chests and whispered to each other while looking down on the underclassmen walking by.

Try to do this second sentence on your own... 

Think of a scene in nature and describe it: the colors, the weather, and how it makes a person feel. Can you think of another word for absorbed? (Try consumed or engulfed, or awed) Finally, specify us. Who could that be? 

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