Home > Hamlet Text > Act III, Scene II - Page 2

HAMLET:

That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs.

HAMLET:

That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs.

OPHELIA:

What is, my lord?

OPHELIA:

What is, my lord?

HAMLET:

Nothing.

HAMLET:

Nothing.

OPHELIA:

You are merry, my lord.(115)

OPHELIA:

You are merry, my lord.

HAMLET:

Who, I?

HAMLET:

Who, me?

OPHELIA:

Ay, my lord.

OPHELIA:

Yes, my lord.

HAMLET:

O God, your only jig-maker! What should a man
do but be merry? For, look you, how cheerfully my mother
looks, and my father died within's two hours.(120)

HAMLET:

O, your only dancer! What should a man do but be
merry? Because look how cheerfully my mother looks,
and my father died within these two hours.

OPHELIA:

Nay 'tis twice two months, my lord.

OPHELIA:

No, it is four months, my lord.

HAMLET:

So long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, for I'll
have a suit of sables. O heavens! die two months ago, and
not forgotten yet? Then there's hope a great man's memory
may outlive his life half a year. But, by'r lady, he must build(125)
churches then; or else shall he suffer not thinking on, with
the hobby-horse, whose epitaph is, 'For, O, for O, the
hobby-horse is forgot!'

HAMLET:

So long? No then, let the devil wear black, for I’ll have a
suit of black fur. O heavens! Died two months ago and
not forgotten yet? Then there's hope that a great man's
memory may outlive his life at least six months, but, by
our Lady, then he must build churches or else he won’t
be remembered with the prostitute, whose epitaph is
“For, O, for, O, the prostitute is forgotten!”

[Hautboys play. The dumb-show enters. Enter a King and a Queen very lovingly; the Queen embracing him and he her. She kneels, and makes show of protestation unto him. He takes her up, and declines his head upon her neck. He lays him down upon a bank of flowers. She, seeing him asleep, leaves him. Anon comes in a fellow, takes off his crown, kisses it, pours poison in the King's ears, and leaves him. The Queen returns, finds the King dead, and makes passionate action. The Poisoner with some three or four Mutes, comes in again, seeming to lament with her. The dead body is carried away. The Poisoner woos the Queen with gifts; she seems loath and unwilling a while, but in the end accepts his love. Exeunt.]

OPHELIA:

What means this, my lord?

OPHELIA:

What does this mean, my lord?

HAMLET:

Marry, this is miching mallecho; it means mischief.(130)

HAMLET:

By Mary, this is miching mallecho, it means mischief.

OPHELIA:

Belike this show imports the argument of the play.

OPHELIA:

It’s as if this show describes the argument of the play.

Enter Prologue.

HAMLET:

We shall know by this fellow. The players cannot
keep counsel; they'll tell all.

HAMLET:

We shall know by this fellow. The players cannot keep a
secret, they'll tell all.

OPHELIA:

Will he tell us what this show meant?

OPHELIA:

Will he tell us what this show meant?

HAMLET:

Ay, or any show that you'll show him. Be not you(135)
ashamed to show, he'll not shame to tell you what it means.

HAMLET:

Yes, or any show that you'll show him. If you are not
ashamed to show, he won’t be ashamed to tell you what
it means.

OPHELIA:

You are naught, you are naught! I'll mark the play.

OPHELIA:

Keep quiet, keep quiet. I’ll watch the play.

PROLOGUE:

For us, and for our tragedy,
Here stooping to your clemency,
We beg your hearing patiently.(140)

PROLOGUE:

For us and for our tragedy,
Here stooping to your clemency,
We beg you listen patiently.

HAMLET:

Is this a prologue, or the posy of a ring?

HAMLET:

Is this a prologue or a ring of flowers?

OPHELIA:

'tis brief, my lord.

OPHELIA:

It is short, my lord.

HAMLET:

As woman's love.

HAMLET:

As woman's love.

Enter [two Players as] King and Queen

P. KING:

Full thirty times hath Phoebus' cart gone round
Neptune's salt wash and Tellus' orbed ground,(145)
And thirty dozen moons with borrowed sheen
About the world have times twelve thirties been,
Since love our hearts, and Hymen did our hands,
Unite commutual in most sacred bands.

P. KING:

The Sun-god’s cart has gone around the earth thirty
Times. The Ocean-god’s salt wash and the Earth-god’s
ground, and three hundred sixty moons, with borrowed
light, has been around the world have twelve times thirty,
Since love, our hearts, and the Marriage-god united our
hands, mutually in the holy bands of matrimony.

P. QUEEN:

So many journeys may the sun and moon(150)
Make us again count o'er ere love be done!
But woe is me! you are so sick of late,
So far from cheer and from your former state.
That I distrust you. Yet, though I distrust,
Discomfort you, my lord, it nothing must;(155)
For women's fear and love hold quantity,
In neither aught, or in extremity.
Now, what my love is, proof hath made you know;
And as my love is sized, my fear is so.
Where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear;(160)
Where little fears grow great, great love grows there.

P. QUEEN:

So many journeys may the sun and moon
Make us count again before love is finished!
But, woe is me, you are so sick of late,
So far from cheer and from your former state.
That I don’t trust you. Yet, though I distrust,
Don’t worry, my lord, it is nothing.
For women's fear and love hold everything,
In having nothing, or having it all.
Now, you know how I love you has been proven to you,
And as my love is cannot be measured, so is my fear.
Where love is great, the littlest doubts are very fearful,
Where little fears grow great, great love also grows there.

P. KING:

Faith, I must leave thee, love, and shortly too;
My operant powers their functions leave to do.
And thou shalt live in this fair world behind,
Honour'd, belov'd, and haply one as kind(165)
For husband shalt thou—

P. KING:

I believe I must leave you, love, and soon too,
The powers that work in my body are shutting down,
And you shall live in this fair world after me,
Honored, beloved, and maybe you shall have
A new man to be your husband.

P. QUEEN:

O, confound the rest!
Such love must needs be treason in my breast.
In second husband let me be accurst!
None wed the second but who killed the first.(170)

P. QUEEN:

O, confound the rest!
Such love must be treason in my breast.
Let me be cursed if I marry again!
No one marries the second without killing the first love.

HAMLET:

That's wormwood!

HAMLET:

Bitter to the soul, bitter to the soul!

P. QUEEN:

The instances that second marriage move
Are base respects of thrift, but none of love.
A second time I kill my husband dead
When second husband kisses me in bed.(175)

P. QUEEN:

The reasons for a second marriage
Are low respects of saving money, but not for love.
I kill my husband dead a second time
When second husband kisses me in bed.

P. KING:

I do believe you think what now you speak;
But what we do determine oft we break.
Purpose is but the slave to memory,
Of violent birth, but poor validity;
Which now, like fruit unripe, sticks on the tree,(180)
But fall unshaken when they mellow be.
Most necessary 'tis that we forget
To pay ourselves what to ourselves is debt.
What to ourselves in passion we propose,
The passion ending, doth the purpose lose.(185)
The violence of either grief or joy
Their own enactures with themselves destroy.
Where joy most revels, grief doth most lament;
Grief joys, joy grieves, on slender accident.
This world is not for aye, nor 'tis not strange(190)
That even our loves should with our fortunes change;
For 'tis a question left us yet to prove,
Whether love lead fortune, or else fortune love.
The great man down, you mark his favorite flies,
The poor advanced makes friends of enemies;(195)
And hitherto doth love on fortune tend,
For who not needs shall never lack a friend,
And who in want a hollow friend doth try,
Directly seasons him his enemy.
But, orderly to end where I begun,(200)
Our wills and fates do so contrary run
That our devices still are overthrown;
Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own.
So think thou wilt no second husband wed;
But die thy thoughts when thy first lord is dead.(205)

P. KING:

I believe you believe what you say now,
But what we determine to, often we don’t.
Promises are only good when you remember them,
Born of violence but poor truth,
Which now, like unripe fruit, stays on the tree,
But fall without shaking them off when they are ripe.
It is very necessary that we forget
To pay ourselves what we owe to ourselves.
What we promise ourselves in a fit of passion,
When the passion ends, so does the promise.
The violence of either grief or joy
Destroys their own keeping of them with themselves.
Where joy celebrates, grief mourns greatly,
Grief joys, joy griefs, on a very slender event.
This world doesn’t say yes, and it’s not strange at all
That even our loves should change with our fortunes,
Because it’s a question we have to prove,
When love leads fortune, or if fortune leads love.
The great man dead, you see all his favorite little things,
The poor promoted to a higher place makes friends of
Enemies, and here love waits on fortune.
Because those with money shall never be without a
Friend, and those in poverty try a hollow friend,
Immediately makes him his enemy.
But, to go back to where I started,
Our wills and fates run in so much in different directions,
That our plans are still turned upside down,
Our thoughts are ours, but their results aren’t ours.
So you think you won’t marry again,
But you’ll change your mind when your first lord is dead.

P. QUEEN:

Nor earth to me give food, nor heaven light,
Sport and repose lock from me day and night,
To desperation turn my trust and hope,
An anchor's cheer in prison be my scope,
Each opposite, that blanks the face of joy,(210)
Meet what I would have well, and it destroy,
Both here and hence pursue me lasting strife,
If, once a widow, ever I be wife!

P. QUEEN:

Earth won’t me give food, or heaven light!
I will avoid leisure and rest day and night!
My trust and hope will turn to desperation!
An anchor's cheer in prison will be my aim!
Every opposite feeling that makes the face of joy blink,
Connect with what I would do well, and destroy it!
Both here and hereafter unending pain follow me,
If, once I am a widow, I ever become a wife!

HAMLET:

If she should break it now!

HAMLET:

If she should break the moment now!

P. KING:

'tis deeply sworn. Sweet, leave me here awhile.(215)
My spirits grow dull, and fain I would beguile
The tedious day with sleep.

P. KING:

It is a very deep oath. Sweetheart, leave me here a while,
My spirits grow tired, and I would gladly pass
The long, boring day with some sleep.

Sleeps.

P. QUEEN:

Sleep rock thy brain,
And never come mischance between us twain!

P. QUEEN:

Sleep rock your brain,
And may misfortune never mischance between us two!

Exeunt.

HAMLET:

Madam, how like you this play?(220)

HAMLET:

Madam, how like you this play?

QUEEN:

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

QUEEN:

The lady protests too much, I think.

HAMLET:

O, but she'll keep her word.

HAMLET:

O, but she'll keep her word.

KING:

Have you heard the argument? Is there no offence in't?

KING:

Have you heard the story? It’s not offensive, is it?

HAMLET:

No, no! They do but jest, poison in jest; no offence i'
the world.(225)

HAMLET:

No, no! They only pretend, pretend to poison, no offense
in the world.