Scene II

[Elsinore. A hall in the Castle.]

Enter Hamlet, and three of the Players.

HAMLET:

Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to
you, trippingly on the tongue. But if you mouth it, as many
of our players do, I had as lief the town-crier spoke my
lines. Nor do not saw the air too much with your hand,
thus, but use all gently; for in the very torrent, tempest,(5)
and, as I may say, whirlwind of your passion, you must
acquire and beget a temperance that may give it smoothness.
O, it offends me to the soul to hear a robustious
periwig-pated fellow tear a passion to tatters, to very rags,
to split the ears of the groundlings, who, for the most part,(10)
are capable of nothing but inexplicable dumb-shows and
noise. I would have such a fellow whipped for o'erdoing
Termagant. It out-Herods Herod. Pray you avoid it.

HAMLET:

Speak the part, I beg you, as I read it to you,
lightly on your tongue. But if you just repeat it, as many
actors do, I would prefer the town crier spoke my lines.
And don’t saw the air too much with your hands, like this,
but use your gestures gently. Because, in the very strong
storm, and, as I may say, whirlwind of passion, you must
acquire and make an easy style that may give it
smoothness. O, it offends me to the soul to hear a hefty
fellow with a wig tear an emotion to tatters, to very rags,
to split the ears of the cheap seats, who, for the most
part, are capable of nothing but confusing pantomime
and noise. I would have such a fellow whipped for
overdoing a Moslem god, it out-herods Herod. Please
avoid it.

FIRST PLAYER:

I warrant your honour.

FIRST PLAYER:

I assure you.

HAMLET:

Be not too tame neither; but let your own discretion be(15)
your tutor. Suit the action to the word, the word to the
action; with this special observance, that you o'erstep not the
modesty of nature: for anything so overdone is from the
purpose of playing, whose end, both at the first and now, was
and is, to hold, as 'twere, the mirror up to nature; to show(20)
virtue her own feature, scorn her own image, and the very
age and body of the time his form and pressure. Now this
overdone, or come tardy off, though it make the unskilful
laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve; the censure of
the which one must in your allowance o'erweigh a whole(25)
theatre of others. O, there be players that I have seen play,
and heard others praise, and that highly, not to speak it
profanely, that, neither having the accent of Christians, nor the
gait of Christian, pagan, nor man, have so strutted and bellowed
that I have thought some of Nature's journeymen(30)
had made men, and not made them well, they imitated
humanity so abominably.

HAMLET:

But don’t be too tame either, but let your own discretion
be your teacher. Fit the action to the word, the word to the
action, with this special rule, that you don’t overstep the
simplicity of being natural, for anything so overdone is not
the purpose of playing, whose end, both at the first and
now, was and is, to hold, as it were, the mirror up to
nature, to show truth in reality, scorn her falseness, and
his form and force to the very age and body of the time.
Now, this overacting, or lateness, though it make the
ignorant laugh, can only make the experienced grieve, in
whose opinion, you must outdo a whole theatre of other
audiences in your performance. O, there are actors that I
have seen perform and heard others praise, and highly
too, not to speak too harshly, that, having neither the
accent of Christians, nor the walk of a Christian, a pagan,
or a man, have so strutted and yelled that I have thought
some of nature's hired help had made them and not
made them well, they imitated mankind so dreadfully.

FIRST PLAYER:

I hope we have reformed that indifferently with
us, sir.

FIRST PLAYER:

I hope we have calmly overcome those problems, sir.

HAMLET:

O, reform it altogether! And let those that play your(35)
clowns speak no more than is set down for them. For there
be of them that will themselves laugh, to set on some quantity
of barren spectators to laugh too, though in the meantime
some necessary question of the play be then to be
considered. That's villainous and shows a most pitiful ambition(40)
in the fool that uses it. Go make you ready.

[Exit Players.]

Enter Polonius, Guildenstern, and Rosencrantz.

How now, my lord? Will the King hear this piece of work?

HAMLET:

O, overcome them with zeal. And let those that play your
clowns speak no more than is written for them, because
there are clowns who will laugh themselves, to make a
number of stupid spectators to laugh too, although in the
meantime some serious issue of the play needs
to be considered then. That's horrible and shows very
bad manners in the fool that uses it. Go get ready.

How are you, my lord! Will the king hear this piece of work?

POLONIUS:

And the Queen too, and that presently.

POLONIUS:

And the queen too, and they should be here presently.

HAMLET:

Bid the players make haste,

[Exit Polonius.]

Will you two help to hasten them?(45)

HAMLET:

Tell the players to hurry up.

Will you two help to hurry them up?

ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN:

We will, my lord.

ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN:

We will, my lord.

Exeunt they two.

HAMLET:

What, ho, Horatio!

HAMLET:

What, here, Horatio!

Enter Horatio.

HORATIO:

Here, sweet lord, at your service.

HORATIO:

Here, sweet lord, at your service.

HAMLET:

Horatio, thou art e'en as just a man
As e'er my conversation cop'd withal.(50)

HAMLET:

Horatio, you are just like the man
That my conversation just now praised.

HORATIO:

O, my dear lord!

HORATIO:

O, my dear lord,

HAMLET:

Nay, do not think I flatter;
For what advancement may I hope from thee,
That no revenue hast but thy good spirits
To feed and clothe thee? Why should the poor be flatter'd?(55)
No, let the candied tongue lick absurd pomp,
And crook the pregnant hinges of the knee
Where thrift may follow fawning. Dost thou hear?
Since my dear soul was mistress of her choice,
And could of men distinguish her election,(60)
Sh'hath seal'd thee for herself. For thou hast been
As one, in suff'ring all, that suffers nothing;
A man that Fortune's buffets and rewards
Hast ta'en with equal thanks; and blest are those
Whose blood and judgment are so well commeddled(65)
That they are not a pipe for Fortune's finger
To sound what stop she please. Give me that man
That is not passion's slave, and I will wear him
In my heart's core, ay, in my heart of heart,
As I do thee. Something too much of this.(70)
There is a play tonight before the King.
One scene of it comes near the circumstance,
Which I have told thee, of my father's death.
I prithee, when thou seest that act afoot,
Even with the very comment of thy soul(75)
Observe my uncle. If his occulted guilt
Do not itself unkennel in one speech,
It is a damned ghost that we have seen,
And my imaginations are as foul
As Vulcan's stithy. Give him heedful note;(80)
For I mine eyes will rivet to his face,
And after we will both our judgments join
In censure of his seeming.

HAMLET:

No, don’t think I flatter you,
Because what promotion may I hope to get from you,
Who has no money, except your good spirits
That feed and clothe you? Why should the poor be flattered?
No, let the sweet tongue lick ridiculous vain glory,
And bend the obvious hinges of the knee
Where poverty may follow flattery. Do you hear me?
Since my dear soul controlled her choice,
And could recognize men of truth, her choice
Has taken you for herself. Because you have been
As one, that in suffering all, that suffers nothing,
A man that Fortune's feasts and rewards
Have taken with equal thanks, and blessed are those
Whose blood and judgment are so well blended
That they are not an instrument for Fortune's finger
To play whatever song she pleases. Give me that man
That is not passion's slave, and I will wear him
In my heart's core, yes, in my heart of heart,
As I do you. OK, enough of that.
There is a play tonight before the king.
One scene of it comes near the circumstances,
Which I have told you, of my father's death.
I beg you, when you see that act begin,
Even with the very criticism of your soul
Watch my uncle. If his hidden guilt
Don’t show itself in that one speech,
It is a false ghost that we have seen,
And my imaginations are as unstable
As god of fire’s anvil. Watch him carefully,
Because I will have my eyes riveted on his face,
And, after the play, we will combine our observations
In condemning of his actions.

HORATIO:

Well, my lord.
If he steal aught the whilst this play is playing,(85)
And 'scape detecting, I will pay the theft.

HORATIO:

Well, my lord.
If he steals anything the while this play is going on,
And he escapes detection, I will pay for the theft.

[Sound a flourish.]

HAMLET:

They are coming to the play. I must be idle.
Get you a place.

HAMLET:

They are coming to the play. I must be idle.
Go get yourself a seat.

[Danish march. Enter Trumpets and Kettle Drums. Enter King, Queen, Polonius, Ophelia, Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and other Lords attendant, with the Guard carrying torches.]

KING:

How fares our cousin Hamlet?

KING:

How’s our cousin Hamlet?

HAMLET:

Excellent, i' faith; of the chameleon's dish. I eat(90)
the air, promise-cramm'd. You cannot feed capons so.

HAMLET:

Excellent, really, of the chameleon's dish. I eat the air,
crammed with promises. You can’t eat capons that way.

KING:

I have nothing with this answer, Hamlet. These words are
not mine.

KING:

I don’t understand this answer, Hamlet, these words are
not meant for me.

HAMLET:

No, nor mine now. My lord, you play'd once i' th'
university, you say?(95)

HAMLET:

No, for me now. My lord, you acted once when you were
in the university, you say?

POLONIUS:

That did I, my lord, and was accounted a good actor.

POLONIUS:

That did I, my lord, and I was accounted a good actor.

HAMLET:

What did you enact?

HAMLET:

What did you enact?

POLONIUS:

I did enact Julius Caesar; I was killed i' the Capitol;
Brutus killed me.

POLONIUS:

I did enact Julius Caesar, I was killed in the Capitol,
Brutus killed me.

HAMLET:

It was a brute part of him to kill so capital a calf there.(100)
Be the players ready.

HAMLET:

It was a brute part of him to kill so capital a stupid fellow
there. Are the players ready?

ROSENCRANTZ:

Ay, my lord. They stay upon your patience.

ROSENCRANTZ:

Yes, my lord, they’re waiting for you.

QUEEN:

Come hither, my dear Hamlet, sit by me.

QUEEN:

Come hear, my dear Hamlet, sit by me.

HAMLET:

No, good mother. Here's metal more attractive.

HAMLET:

No, good mother, here's a more attractive place.

POLONIUS:

O, ho! do you mark that?(105)

POLONIUS:

O, ho! Do you see that?

HAMLET:

Lady, shall I lie in your lap?

HAMLET:

Lady, shall I lie in your lap?

OPHELIA:

No, my lord.

OPHELIA:

No, my lord.

HAMLET:

I mean, my head upon your lap?

HAMLET:

I mean, lay my head on your lap?

OPHELIA:

Ay, my lord.

OPHELIA:

Yes, my lord.

HAMLET:

Do you think I meant country matters?(110)

HAMLET:

Do you think I meant sexual matters?

OPHELIA:

I think nothing, my lord.

OPHELIA:

I think nothing, my lord.