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What are the 3 most important events in the novel and why? How do these particular incidents affect the outcome of the novel and the major characters?

Tough questions!  There are a lot of good, major events you could choose to answer this question.  My opinion is as follows:

1.  Nick moving to West Egg. I would call this the inciting incident of the book.  If Nick hadn't move, and had plans to visit his counsin, Daisy, he never would have met or been enthralled with Gatsby or met Jordan, who later became a romantic interest.  Nick would never had cause to tell the story he tells in the book.  Perhaps he also wouldn't be as cynical.

2.  Gatsby and Daisy initiating an affair.  This choice provides a shift in the novel.  No longer is Tom the only one participating in marital infidelity, but the reader almost empathizes and feels sorry for Gatsby and Daisy.  This decision also leads to the confrontation in the hotel room, leading to the climax and ending of the novel.  If they had not made this choice, many of the following events, including the deaths in the novel, wouldn't have occured.

3.  Gatsby's death.  This incident nails home Fitzgerald's point about materialism, the "rich life" and the American Dream.  The reader feels sorry for Gatsby for, though he had everything, and came from nothing to be a successful man, he died alone.  Not even his name or his possession could save him.  None of his false friends bothered to show up for his funeral, and Fitzgerald spend some time describing how the house just stood there, empty.  In fact, the house often feels too big and empty for Gatsby--as though his dreams were never realized. Daisy and Tom don't even care that their decision to cover up that it was Daisy driving the car took Gatsby's life.  This provides Nick with the cynical attitude he has throughout the novel.

There are indeed many important events in the novel that affected its outcome. Here are three more to consider.

1. When Gatsby first met Daisy in Louisville, he entertained no serious intentions. He had never been in love or faithful to any one woman; until that time, he had treated women in his life as disposable sexual objects. Daisy was "the first 'nice' girl he had ever known" (Chapter VIII). At one specific point in their relationship, Gatsby lets down his defenses, accepts falling in love, and kisses Daisy, knowing that his life will never be the same. It wasn't. At that moment, Daisy became the embodiment of his romantic dream, and he pursued her until his death.

2. When Gatsby met Wolfsheim, he was just out of the army, hungry and penniless, owning nothing, literally, except the clothes on his back--his uniform. Wolfsheim fed him and offered him a job in his criminal enterprise. Gatsby accepted. By associating himself with Wolfsheim, Gatsby entered a life of crime, earning himself enormous wealth. Gatsby's fortune brought him back into Daisy's world, which resulted ultimately in his death. 

3. When George Wilson, crazy with grief, sets out to kill the man who he erroneously believes ran over his wife, he stops at the Buchanans' estate. Tom does nothing to correct Wilson's misunderstanding; furthermore, he gives Wilson specific directions to Gatsby's house. Wilson finds Gatsby, shoots him to death, and then kills himself.

If Gatsby had walked away from Daisy in Louisville or walked away from Wolfsheim in Weinbrenner's poolroom, he surely would have lived a longer life. If Wilson had not spoken to Tom Buchanan the morning after Myrtle's death, he might have returned to sanity before taking Gatsby's life and his own.