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Topic: Difficult parents

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11

aeg7256

I think I would have told the parent that if a picture was what made or broke her daughter's high school experience; then she must have done something way wrong as a parent!

12

ms-charleston-yawp

My heart truly goes out to you!  I've been there.  I cried, too.  Like water off a duck's back, my friend, . . . like water off a duck's back.  And as great advice as that is, I'm such a sensitive soul that I've NEVER been able to take it myself.  Ha!  I have always been happier, as I always say, "when it is just me and the kids."  Gosh, we have a blast learning about Literature.  Get parents involved and everything gets mucky. 

The sooner you can put this behind you, the better.  For me, I'm afraid the only thing that allowed me to do that was one word:  TIME.  Hope it's faster for you than it always has been for me.  And I'm just SO glad that there's a forum like this that allows for venting and commiserating!!!

13

ms-altman

I agree with Mrs.Monica as well.  I think the first thing to do when it comes with difficult parents is to first build a rapport with them.  Calling them the first day of school or before the child misbehaves, sending home a good note about the child, listing positives before the negatives and etc. when you have conferences. Personally, I think some teachers are reactive as opposed to proactive and don't contact parents until they have an issue.

In your situation, just to look at both aspects of the situation...Did you consider the parents perspective?  You may not think the picture of the child and vaccum is important; however that mother is paying for her child's yearbook page, and probably put a lot of time and effort into selecting which pictures she would like on this page.  I think this situation could have been prevented if the parent was contacted prior to the yearbook going out and alerting her in advance that all of the pictures might not fit.  (Being proactive!)

There's never a one answer way of dealing with difficult parents.  But keep this in mind they're difficult because they are concerned about their child.  You shouldn't take it personal.

14

herappleness

The first thing I do is to immediately save all documentation that would prove that what I am doing is completely opposite from what the parent claims. I always keep a file with any paper I ever send that parents might read because in our specific school our parents have a massive problem comprehending written documents ;)

Second, alert the principal and tell what steps you plan to take and have the principal approve. Don't do anything without the principal knowing.

Third, when the parent comes blaming you, have the ammo ready to revert the situation and, like msmonica said put the problem back in the parent's field.

In all, you did all the right things. I wish this part of the job was put in the job descriptions of every school LOL

 

 

 

15

bridget_renfer

Having been a yearbook advisor, I know that few things get a parent fired up more than a yearbook!  Heaven forbid you should modify a tradition, or have expectations about what should or should not be included!

I do think it was right to pass the problem on to your administrator.  I hope your principal gives you the support you are looking for in dealing with this parent.

16

mshurn

Linda, as a former yearbook adviser, believe me, I feel your pain! The woman you describe has more problems in her life than a senior tribute. Seriously, she does, and she vented on you. Don't take it personally. It's hard to be objective when somebody is using you as a punching bag, but try to disengage. Chances are nothing you could say or do would satisfy her because the senior tribute is not her real problem. She probably doesn't even know what is truly upsetting her--or, she could just be a combative person who likes to fight. As teachers, we are expected to communicate with parents, but communicating with parents does not mean being abused. That is not part of the job description. "I understand you are unhappy. I'm sorry you feel that way." Hang up. Log off. Go get coffee.

That said, how to deal with difficult parents in general? I once heard this advice in dealing with a hostile parent in a conference setting. According to somebody's research somewhere, if an angry parent is allowed to go through the particulars of a complaint three times without interruption, he or she then will be open to a productive discussion. I'm not sure why the third time is the charm, but I have seen this approach work. (I once witnessed a parent eventually talk herself out of her own position!) Good luck, and enjoy the beautiful yearbook I know you knocked yourself out to produce. 

 

 

 

 

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